Charlotte felt Edward’s presence before she heard him.
She turned her head ever so slightly toward the patio doors at the sensation, waiting for his Italian leather-clad feet to appear. After all this time, he still dressed up to see her. He always arrived wearing some kind of slacks and dress shirt, designer shoes polished until she could see her reflection in them. She sensed that he liked the formality of it - a uniform, perhaps even a suit of armor, to protect him while he was on duty.
So the sight of worn sneakers and faded navy sweatpants approaching couldn’t have taken her more off guard.
She started, whipping her head quickly toward the doorway, for a split second fearing that an intruder had just waltzed into her home. But her eyes followed the familiar lean line of Edward Cullen’s long, t-shirted torso up to his unshaven face and ubiquitous sunglasses, made redundant under the brim of baseball cap pulled low. She was struck harder by their age difference than she’d ever been before, and she felt foolish for every untoward idea that had ever crossed her mind.
“Hi Charlotte,” came his usually silken voice, now rusty from the lack of take-out coffee to oil it. He sat down empty-handed in the chair nearest her chaise, leaning purposefully forward as he took off his sunglasses. “I’m glad you could see me early this week.”
“It’s no bother, I assure you,” she replied, the anxious look in his eyes making her feel uneasy herself. “You’re always welcome here, you know that.”
“Thanks.” She must have looked a bit gob-smacked still, because he quickly took off his ball cap and ran self-conscious fingers through his unwashed hair. “I’m sorry to show up looking like this. But I have something to ask you, and I knew if I waited, I wouldn’t go through with it.”
“It’s actually rather refreshing to see you dressing your age,” she said, hoping she sounded convincing. “Now by all means, speak your mind. Would you like some coffee or tea first?”
“No, no thanks,” he said, still agitated. He began to worry the brim of his cap between long, nimble fingers, staring it down as if he could somehow convince it to do the talking. But once his lips started moving, the words poured out.
“I hate asking you for anything, especially since I’m not even sure how you can help. Because even if I had the mortgages paid off, I’d still have to pay for Em’s nursing home care. I could file for Medicaid to cover it, but then they’d put a lien on the house, and that’s exactly the thing I’ve been trying to avoid. The whole point of me going into the fucking escort business was so that I wouldn’t have to sell off all my family heirlooms. I like being able to provide for all of us - Em and Alice and myself. But I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I want out. I have to figure a way out.”
He paused for a breath, while Charlotte slowly let out the one she’d been holding. His pleading gaze dropped and he became absorbed once more in the brim of his baseball cap.
“Edward, you know I’m more than happy to help you however I can. My offer to get those mortgages off your back still stands. I don’t care about repayment.”
“But I will pay you back. Even if it takes me the rest of my life, I will.”
Charlotte chuckled. “Well, I won’t be around long enough to see that day. We’ll worry about a payment schedule later. It’s worth every penny to me to lighten that burden on your shoulders. And maybe it’ll be enough for you to go into a different line of work, even if it pays less.”
“Maybe. That’s what I’m hoping.” The reflection of that hope glimmered faintly in Edward’s eyes, and the sight of it was worth more than all the gold in Fort Knox to Charlotte.
“Do I even have to ask what - or should I say, who - brought on this epiphany?” She already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him.
The bashful smile on Edward’s face was reply enough, but it soon became wan. “She deserves better. I want to give her what she deserves.”
Charlotte nodded slowly. “Bella? If I remember correctly.”
It was Edward’s turn to nod in answer.
“I’m sure she does,” Charlotte agreed. “But let’s not forget that you deserve better too, my dear.”
His shrug was less emphatic than his nod, which made her sigh in exasperation.
“Well, whether you think so or not, you deserve good things in life. You deserve to follow a path that makes you happy. I believe you’ve already chosen your companion; now all you have to do is find the right path. And I think you already know what that is.”
Edward looked up into her shrewd gaze. “I know. I’ve been thinking about that. I’m so out of practice, though, I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t know who’d hire me. Maybe a piano bar, or one of those department stores that likes to have some suit-guy sitting there playing classical music for ambience.”
Charlotte glanced heavenward at his self deprecation. “I won’t sit and listen to you sell yourself short. You’ve been doing enough of that for the past two years, wouldn’t you say?”
Edward grimaced in acknowledgement.
“What if I gave you a good reason to get back in practice? Would you take it?”
His eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about? I’m not taking any more handouts. Borrowing money from you is hard enough.”
“I’m not talking about a handout. I’m talking about an opportunity.” She paused and picked up the letter propped against the arm of her lounge chair. She tapped it thoughtfully against the tip of her index finger, again reading the return address with satisfaction. “I assume you’ve heard of the Seattle International Piano Competition?”
Edward let out a small laugh. “Of course.”
“You won a couple of junior titles there, if I’m not mistaken.”
His brows knitted. “How did you . . . ?”
“The internet is a wondrous creation,” she replied smoothly. “I found out all kinds of delightful things about you after a little digging. You entered that competition every year it was held, from the ages of eight to twenty, under the name Edward Masen. You even placed in several of them against the best in the world in your category.”
Edward had straightened up in his chair as she casually reeled off his secrets like the innocuous bits of public information they were.
“That was a long time ago,” he said softly.
“Four years. Not so long, when you get to be my age,” she replied with a wry smile. “My point is, you missed the last competition because of your grandmother’s failing health. What if I told you that you didn’t have to miss the next one?”
He let out a sardonic laugh. “I’d tell you you’re crazy. The competition is in October. Applications to enter were due months ago.”
“Indeed, they were,” she agreed, now tapping the corner of the envelope briefly against her bottom lip. “But my late husband, Peter, had several good friends in the Seattle arts community, one of whom happens to be on the admissions committee of the piano competition. I sent him an inquiry, and wouldn’t you know? It turns out there’s a slot open due to an unfortunate cancellation.”
She paused for Edward’s reaction, but he only stared at her, bewildered.
“You’ll have to perform in the Amateur category, of course, since you’re no longer a student, and not currently employed as a musician,” she continued. “There’s no cash prize to be won, but the exposure and prestige that could be gained would be quite advantageous to someone looking to get a foot in the music business, wouldn’t you agree?”
Edward gaped at her in disbelief. “I don’t understand. It’s too late for me to send in an audition CD.”
Charlotte’s cheeks colored slightly. “Well, I’m afraid I might have done something slightly . . . duplicitous, to that end.”
His eyes narrowed as the puzzle pieces began to fall into place. When he spoke, his tone was eerily calm but utterly pointed.
“What did you do, Charlotte?”
She took a deep breath. “I may have recorded you playing the piano here once or twice without your knowledge.”
The veranda was dead silent, save for the chirp of a few nearby birds and the soft hum of a riding mower from a distant neighbor’s yard. Charlotte tried to read the look in Edward’s eyes, but couldn’t discern whether he was angry, incredulous, grateful, or some combination of the three.
“What are you telling me?” The calm in his voice was belied by a slight tremor.
“I’m telling you you’re in.” She reached out and offered him the envelope.
His hand trembled a little as he took it from her. He stared at it in shock before finally opening it and withdrawing the contents. He looked the acceptance letter over, shaking his head.
“I can’t believe you did this,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Please don’t be too cross with me,” she entreated. “You got in on your own merits. They heard you play - that was the deciding factor.”
“What did you submit?”
“The final version of the piece you practiced last week. You repeated it until it was flawless, and that’s what I sent. I also filled out the application under your real name, which I’m sure many on the admissions board still remember. I daresay they were happy to have you back in the competition.”
He shook his head again, clearly overwhelmed. Charlotte just hoped it was in a good way. But when he finally looked up at her, his expression was bleak.
“This is only seven weeks away. That’s not enough time for me to get in competitive shape.”
“Nonsense,” she argued. “You played that piece to perfection once, and it got you in the contest. You have seven weeks to make sure you can play it to perfection one more time.”
“I’d have to practice every day, or close to it.”
“Lucky for you that I have a piano and a conservatory at your disposable whenever you need it.”
He balked at the offer. “I can’t impose on you like that.”
“It’s no imposition, and even if it were, it’s one I would gladly endure.”
She could see the struggle on his face, but she wasn’t about to let him talk himself out of this. His head continued to shake slowly from side to side, eyes looking over the letter as if it were written in some foreign language he was having difficulty translating.
“Play to win,” she thought she heard him murmur at last.
“Come again?”
Edward raised his eyes to meet hers, and this time she saw only grateful determination there.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” he said softly, green eyes glossy with unshed tears.
“Yes, you do.” She rose from her chair and lifted one arm, gesturing in the direction of the music room.
Edward stood, but instead of turning toward the house, he grabbed her up in a bear hug, nearly knocking the wind out of her.
“You’re amazing,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. It vibrated down her spine in a way she hadn’t felt since the last time Peter had whispered in her ear. He clasped her shoulders as he pulled away to look down at her. “I’m going to do my best to make you proud, I swear.”
“You already have,” she told him.
But he had already released her and headed inside. Moments later, she heard the familiar sounds of his warm-up scales, and those simple ascending notes were the sweetest sounds she’d ever heard.
# # # # # # # # # #
Bella had fifty minutes to kill between her Ancient Greek Lit and her Art History classes. She knew what she should do: go back to the dorm, take a quick shower and put on fresh clothes that actually fit her.
But as she ambled through the quad, pulling up Edward’s sagging sweatpants and feeling the late summer sun warm the cotton of his t-shirt, she couldn’t bear the thought of taking them off. She pulled the neck of the shirt over her nose for a moment, taking a deep whiff of the musky scent that lingered there. No, these clothes were staying put.
How bad do I look? she wondered absently. She felt amazing. She hadn’t come down from the euphoric cloud she’d been floating on for the past twenty-four hours, and she wasn’t ready to strip the heavenly evidence from her body quite yet.
She sat down on what was becoming her favorite between-classes bench, then dug through her backpack for her cosmetics bag with a mirror attached. A quick glance showed the disheveled but undeniably glowing face of a girl who had been recently, thoroughly ravished by her . . . boyfriend?
Maybe. Possibly. Someday.
She wondered how long she could stick it out until “someday” arrived. When she was with Edward, the cocoon of intimacy that spun them together seemed impenetrable. But the minute she was alone, nagging fears began picking at her, leaving holes of doubt in that cloak of certainty. She hoped he was sincere about looking for an alternative to escorting, but until then, she knew she would have to be unbelievably strong.
If she couldn’t, she’d have to walk away.
She turned sideways and brought her legs up on the bench, knees to her chin, wrapping her arms around the baggy fleece of Edward’s sweatpants. She took a whiff of those, too, inhaling deeply before exhaling in a sigh.
“Hey, Swan, is that you?” a male voice called, shattering her reverie.
Bella looked over her shoulder to see Mike Newton approaching, and she cringed involuntarily before painting on a smile. She hadn’t seen him since the night she told him they could be friends and nothing more. He didn’t seem too put off by it, though, if his gigantic grin was any indication.
“Hey, Mike,” she said in greeting as he approached. “How’s it going?”
“Great. Mind if I sit down?” he asked, indicating the empty half of the bench next to her sneaker-clad feet.
“’Course not.”
He plopped down opposite Bella, dropping his backpack to the sidewalk below. He stretched one arm across the back of the bench, leaned back and gave her a quick once-over.
“Wow. Rough night?” he said with a laugh.
Her lips pursed indignantly while her hand reached up to smooth the haphazard bun at the back of her neck.
“What do you mean by that?” she snapped, trying to will her cheeks to stop blushing.
Mike’s face fell in dismay as he tried to correct his blunder. “Nothing! I mean, you look great - you always look great. Maybe a little like you just rolled out of bed, but I’m guessing your alarm didn’t go off or something this morning. Happens to all of us. I almost left the dorm without my pants last week - got all the way down the hall in my boxer shorts before Riley stopped me,” he finished with a weak laugh. “You remember Riley, right?”
“Yeah, of course. Keeper of the good stash.”
Mike grinned at that. “Indeed. You should come over some time and partake with us. We’ll make sure you don’t overdo it this time, though. We don’t want a repeat performance of last time, do we?”
“No,” Bella agreed, wincing. “Definitely not.”
“You were so sick,” he lamented. “And I don’t need that rage-0-holic suit-guy of yours bashing my face in, either.”
Bella let out a loud guffaw. “He would never do that. He isn’t the least bit rage-y.”
“Apparently you didn’t get a good look at his face when he found you with us. I thought he was gonna rip off my nut sack and make me wear it as a party hat.”
“That’s ridiculous,” she scoffed. “And gross.”
Mike snickered. “You were drunk. You don’t remember.”
“I remember just fine. Edward took care of me all night long, even after I barfed on his shoes. Even after he had to watch me barf twenty more times before I was finished.”
Mike shuddered slightly. “Poor Bella,” he commiserated, taking the opportunity to reach over and give one of her shins a squeeze. “I guess suit-guy is a regular prince to put up with that, huh?” His sarcasm was hard to miss.
“He is, actually. Not many guys would clean up after a girl spewing Technicolor vomit into a dorm sink all night long.”
Mike’s expression grew sober. “I would. If you’d let me.”
Bella couldn’t handle the sincerity in those sky-blue eyes of his, and her gaze faltered and fell to the sidewalk. She heard his fingers drum the back of the bench; heard him draw in a long breath before speaking again.
“But that won’t happen, because I’m not letting you get that wasted again.” He nudged her left foot with his knee, prompting her to look up at him. “Seriously, Swan, I haven’t seen you since our movie night. I hope you’re not becoming a hermit. You can still party and have fun without overdoing it, you know. I’ll police you myself,” he offered with the quirk of any eyebrow and a half-joking grin.
“Now there’s an offer I can’t refuse,” she answered, smiling in spite of herself.
“Officer Mike Newton, Booze Patrol, at your service - here to take any shot that comes at you.” He pantomimed bringing a shot glass to his lips, throwing his head back and swallowing.
“Wow. How selfless of you,” Bella replied with a roll of her eyes.
“It’s true. I’m a giver like that,” he said, splaying his hand over his heart for emphasis.
“That you are.” It actually was true, she thought.
“So, what do you say? When are we gonna get together? There’s a pledge party at my fraternity this Saturday night - you and Jess should come by. You know where the Delt house is, right?”
Bella did a double take. “I didn’t know you were in a fraternity. When did that happen? You weren’t even here during rush week, were you?”
“No, I couldn’t make it because of my forestry internship. But I’m a Delta Tau Delta legacy, so they pretty much had to take me, the poor bastards,” he said with a laugh.
“Legacy. What’s that mean?”
“My dad and grandfather were both Delts, so basically that puts me at the top of the pledge list, even though I’m a sophomore. It’s been a blast so far. They’re easy on the hazing, hard on the studying and philanthropy. It’ll probably be a good thing that they’ll be on my ass to keep my grades up.”
“Wow. That’s cool. Congratulations,” Bella told him. She didn’t quite get the appeal of fraternities and sororities, but for a social animal like Mike, they were probably his own version of nirvana.
“Thanks. So, Saturday? Is it a date?”
She tried not to cringe at the term. Had he gotten nothing out of their last talk?
“Actually, I told my dad I’d go home to visit him for the weekend. I’m guessing he has a birthday present he wants to give me or something.”
Mike’s eyes grew round. “Your birthday! Oh, man, I forgot that was coming up. Next Tuesday, right? The big two-oh.” His knee nudged her sneaker again. “Now that is an occasion to celebrate. Got any big plans?”
“Yeah, I do, sort of,” she admitted. Bella realized she had no idea what Edward had planned for the day. She didn’t care, as long as she was spending it with him.
Mike’s face fell when he deduced her meaning. “I suppose suit-guy is taking you out to some fancy restaurant, huh?”
“I don’t know, actually. He probably wants to surprise me.”
He nodded, pursing his lips together in what looked like distaste. Then, in a flash, his smile returned. “That’s fine. You can still ring in your birthday, college-style, the night before. Why don’t we round up Jess and Riley and whoever else you want to invite - maybe go out for burgers, knock back a few beers, and sing Happy Birthday at midnight. Whaddya say?”
His expression was too hopeful to crush with a “no, thanks.” Bella decided to suck it up and play along. Besides, it might be kind of fun to go out with a group. That way it wouldn’t seem like a date, and maybe she could even steer Mike in Jessica’s direction, if Jess was still interested.
Not to mention, it would be a nice distraction to keep her mind off of what Edward might be doing on the eve of her big day.
“Sure, sounds fun,” she told him, trying to sound enthusiastic. “But please don’t feel compelled to sing or anything on my account.”
“Are you trying to tell me something about my singing ability? I think I’m offended. I think I’m wounded, actually.”
“That’s kind of how you sound when you sing,” she said, putting on her best deadpan face. “Wounded.”
“Oh!” he exclaimed, slamming his fist over his heart, then pulling an imaginary arrow from it in slow motion. “Straight for the jugular!”
“The truth hurts,” she teased.
“Yeah, well, I’m gonna sing extra-loud right in your ear for that one, ’de-e-ear Bel-laahhh,’” he crooned, leaning in to bellow the last two words in her face.
“Stop!” She put one palm up to his chest and gave him a good-natured shove. “Save it for the actual day, for the love of God.”
He only laughed. “Fine. Lucky for you, I gotta get to class anyway. I’ll text everyone and get a little party group together, then I’ll give you a call with the deets. Sound good?”
She nodded affirmatively.
“Cool. See you soon, Bella.” She wasn’t sure she liked the way he said her name - a little too soft, a touch too intimate.
He gave her shin another squeeze before he got up and left. She absently rubbed the spot where his hand had been as she watched him walk away. She realized she didn’t want anyone touching her that way but Edward.
And she didn’t want Edward touching anyone else that way, either.
She shivered despite the warm sun on her skin. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs, burying her face in his scent until it was time to leave for her next class.
# # # # # # # # # #
10: 38 p.m.
The crowd at the Christophe Gallery is beginning to thin.
Hors d’oeuvres starting out as miniature architectural marvels have been leveled to a rubble of crumbs on silver platters. A streaming champagne tower has been reduced to a few bubbling puddles in the bottom of lip-stick stained flutes. And an everything-old-is-new-again throwback to the heyday of impressionism has successfully shown his latest works to an appreciative crowd of wealthy Seattleites looking to expand their art collections.
The artist and his agent are in seventh heaven. Leslie Grimm, the PR rep for the gallery, is right behind them. Indeed, her cloud of blonde curls and pale satin gown give her a faintly angelic quality, tarnished only by her vibrantly painted face and fingernails.
She drains the last of dregs of her fourth - or is it fifth? - champagne glass and surveys the stragglers, searching for her date. He is not hard to find. The wayward hair springing from the head of his six-foot-plus frame is instantly recognizable to her. He is still chatting with the artist, looking positively absorbed in the conversation. Damn, he is good. He always knows how to make a good impression on the people she needs him to, and for that alone, he is worth every penny.
But she knows what else Edward Cullen is good at, and in that arena, he is priceless.
Hot damn, that boy is gorgeous, she thinks as she glides across the room toward him, swaying slightly in an alcoholic torpor. Not one single painting in the room can rival the artistic planes of his face. She cannot help but admire how the cut of his suit complements his figure, lengthening his legs, broadening his shoulders, narrowing his waist. The work of art it creates is breath-taking. But she knows from experience that the canvas beneath is the real star.
She takes his forearm when she approaches, seamlessly inserting herself into the conversation. Small talk is made, congratulations are shared, and eventual good-byes are said. She is ready for the real fun to begin.
She keeps a socially acceptable distance as Edward escorts her to the parking garage. But the minute they reach a dimly lit corner, she is all over that suit, pulling at it, pressing against it, lifting herself up and pulling his sculpted face down to hers.
Something is missing in his kiss, she thinks; but perhaps she’s just had too much to drink. She’ll sober up a bit in the car on the way to the hotel, and he’ll loosen up once they’re in private.
“Where are you taking me?” she purrs as he guides her down the row of imports toward his convertible. “You know I love that suite at Hotel 1o00.”
Did his lip just curl? Impossible. He loves that suite, too. It’s his favorite, she knows.
“I’m taking you home,” he says. He lets go of her hand and fishes for his keys. She stops dead in her tracks, too stunned for movement.
“Home?” she repeats, her own lip definitely curling in distaste. “My place is a mess. I had something a little more upscale in mind. Or at least more seductive.”
She is using her best sex-siren voice on him. He smiles, but it is not the type of smile she wants to see. His expression is . . . polite. She would call it indifferent if she didn’t know better.
“I can’t spend the night with you tonight, Leslie.”
She knows better now. His eyes reflect the cold, gray concrete and steel of the parking garage when he glances at her. She is still staring at the back of his head after he turns and walks toward his car, aiming the remote keys to unlock it. The electronic beep-beep seems to mock her.
She finally stumbles forward, a stilted, jilted walk of disbelief as he holds the passenger door open for her. She wants to smack the small, perfunctory grin off of his face. He can’t be serious. Her ego won’t let him be serious.
“I never said anything about spending the night,” she counters, falling back on innuendo once more as she approaches. “An hour or two is all I need. As I recall, you can accomplish quite a lot in that time frame.”
His perma-grin is maddening. It’s almost a simper. “Some other time,” he says, sounding somewhat dismissive. “But not tonight. I’m sorry.”
Except that he clearly is not. She cannot disguise her incredulity now. Where is the Edward Cullen she knew? The one who was more than agreeable, even eager, to have a little fun at the end of the evening? She knows there is no guarantee of sex at the culmination of a Renaissance Escorts date, but it’s an implied and understood part of the agreement that if she wants it, she will get it.
And she wants it. She has always wanted it from him. She wanted it the first time she saw him, and every time after that. She wants it now. Why doesn’t he?
“What’s the problem, Edward?” she coos, unable to give up just yet. She runs her hand along the fine gabardine of his jacket, over the lapels, smoothing his thin silk tie. “You didn’t book someone else after me, did you?”
“No, of course not. It has nothing to do with you. I’m afraid I have to cut the evening short for personal reasons.”
“Personal reasons,” she echoes, wondering what on earth they could be. What a pathetic liar he is. Her stare is in danger of becoming a glare as she looks up at him. She is going to wipe that goddamned polite grin from his face if it’s the last thing she does.
Her hand has reached his jaw now, already sandpapery to the touch though he started out the evening clean-shaven. Fuck, is that ever a turn-on. She knows she’s about to become very undignified very soon. She catches the scent of him now, slight hints of soap lingering over musky male warmth; and she is afraid she’s not above begging.
“I have a couple of personal issues of my own right now,” she whispers, lifting her lips closer to his. “Needs, you might call them. I’m pretty sure you can take care of them before you turn into a pumpkin,” she teases. Her other hand is wandering south, hovering around his waist, waiting for the signal to keep going. She has him backed against the open door now, the glow from the car’s interior lighting her way.
“As tempting as that is . . .” He pauses to clasp her face firmly in one hand, impeding its progress toward his, “I have to decline.”
“Decline?” She bursts into peals of champagne-fueled laughter, wrenching her face from his grasp. “I’m not a maxed-out credit card, for fuck’s sake. What’s gotten into you? You’ve never declined anything from me before. Not my kisses . . .” she plants her lips on his jaw, “not my blow jobs. . .” she slides her hand down over his crotch, “and certainly not my open legs.”
She rubs her hand along the fabric-covered outline of his dick, willing it to harden. She’s astonished, even insulted, that its response is half-hearted at best.
“What’s with you?” she asks again, feeling an angry indignation rising in her chest. She continues to stroke his face and his sex, sure that he will cave one place or the other. “Where’s the Edward Cullen who liked to have a little fun? A lot of fun, as I recall. Nasty fun,” she murmurs, giving his chin a little bite. “Come on. You can’t tell me your other clients let you ass-fuck them like I do. And I know you. You love nothing more than to give me a good anal pounding. And you know I love it, too. Go ahead - give it to me. Right here in the back of the car. Or bent over the hood, if that gets you off.”
Though his lips resemble a sneer, his dick isn’t nearly so put off. She delights in the slight thickening she feels, and she drops her other hand down to work at his zipper. She thrills to the sound of its metal teeth releasing. Her hands are at the waistband of his cotton briefs, fingers curling in his happy trail, and she knows she is almost there.
And then his hands are on her wrists, gripping tight, pulling her hands away from the prize. Effortlessly he wrenches her arms behind her own back, pinning them in place and pulling her closer. She lets out a tiny shriek of excitement at his roughness, only too happy to press her body against his. Her head lolls back, lips parted, waiting for his kiss.
Instead, she receives only more placating words.
“Leslie,” he begins, in that achingly low, seductive tone of his. “Make no mistake. You are a gorgeous, sexy woman, and I am incredibly flattered that you want me. But it’s not going to happen this time. Not tonight.”
Her pride utterly stripped away, the truth finally hits her.
“Not ever,” she says, her stunned eyes challenging him to refute her.
His silence is all the confirmation she needs.
Silence is their stifling companion during the drive to her high-rise. It retreats at last when Edward asks if he can walk her to her door.
“Don’t bother,” she whispers as she opens the car door and steps out. She turns back and looks him dead in the eyes, making no effort to hide her humiliation and anger.
“Good-bye, Edward,” she says before slamming the door shut.
He watches until she is safely in the building before leaving.
He knows he has just lost his first client.
# # # # # # # # # #
11:22 p.m.
Bella has finally given up and showered.
She has also done her homework, listened to some depressing music, and written another poem that she deems too sappy and mundane to possibly express what she is really feeling. Which, at present, can be distilled down to a single word.
Melancholy.
She figures she might as well go to bed now.
She pulls clean pajamas out of her dresser, throws them on the bed and looks at them. The bottoms are covered in cartoon illustrations of coffee cups, grinders and beans, interspersed with the words “java,” “latte,” “espresso” and the like.
Not exactly sleep-inducing, she thinks wryly.
Edward’s dirty clothes are laid out neatly over her plastic blow-up chair in the corner. She knows she should throw them in her laundry basket and wash them before she returns them to him. She wants to do none of the above.
11:27 p.m.
The java p.j.’s are back in the dresser. Bella is snuggled under the bed covers in Edward’s clothes instead. She wonders if there’s something wrong with her. All she knows is that the melancholy ache subsides a little every time she inhales his scent.
11:44 p.m.
She has fallen into that drowsy state between wakefulness and sleep when the musical cadence of her cell phone brings her back to consciousness. She picks it up from the nightstand and warm tingles surge through her when she sees who is on the other end.
“Edward,” she says, more groggily and less sexily than she was aiming for.
“Did I wake you?” he asks, his voice wrapping around her like velvet ribbons.
“No,” she lies. “Where are you?”
“In my bed,” he replies. “Missing you.”
“You’re home?” she asks in surprise.
“Yeah. Early night.”
She wonders if those words mean what she hopes they do.
“That’s unusual,” she replies, fishing for her answer.
“Not always. Tonight was pretty uneventful.”
And now he has lied, too. But he’s given her the truth she needed to hear.
“Mine was uneventful, too. Homework, mostly. A little writing.”
“More poetry?”
She snorts softly. “If you can call it that.”
“I don’t care what you call it. It’s great. You have a talent for putting words together in a powerful way.”
“Thanks. It’s nothing like your talent for putting musical notes together. But I try.”
“I’m trying again, too.” She thinks she detects something different in his tone - anticipation, almost excitement - as he continues. “Things are changing, Bella. For the better. I can feel it.”
“Yeah? You think so?”
He can hear the wistfulness in her voice, and it cuts him deep, as only she can.
“I know so.”
He sounds adamant. She’s never heard him sound so sure before, and she smiles, feeling her melancholy dissipate like fog under the sun’s rays.
“I believe you,” she says.
She always says that, when most girls in her position wouldn’t trust him as far as they could throw him. The way she gives her trust so freely makes him all the more desperate to earn it.
“I know you have an early class tomorrow,” he says regretfully. “I’ll let you get some sleep. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“I can’t believe you remember my class schedule,” she says with a surprised laugh.
“I told you. When it comes to you, I pay attention.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve got my full attention, too. I’m glad you called. I always want to hear your voice.”
“Then I’ll call you again tomorrow.”
“You promise?”
“I promise,” he says.
You have no idea how much I promise you, he thinks as he hangs up the phone.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Chapter 31
Alice scowled at the mixing bowl on the counter in front of her. The batter didn’t look right - too runny. She’d watched Edward make blueberry pancakes a hundred times, and she thought she’d followed his recipe to the letter. So what was missing?
She had just dipped one index finger into the bowl when she spied movement out of the corner of one eye. Her batter-covered finger was already in her mouth by the time she realized Bella Swan had just stepped into the kitchen.
Alice’s eyes snapped to attention and she swallowed quickly. “You did not just see that,” she said, more an order than a wish.
Bella laughed. “Okay, I didn’t,” she readily agreed. “But it’s perfectly fine for the cook to taste the broth, in my opinion.”
“Good! Or pancake batter, in this case,” Alice replied.
She tried not to gape openly at the first sleep-over date her cousin had ever entertained in this house. But it was hard not to gaze in wonder at Bella’s obvious bed-head and post-coital glow, not to mention Edward’s borrowed t-shirt and sweats overwhelming her small frame. It was one thing to be awakened by muffled sex noises coming from the next bedroom, but quite another to see the living proof standing in her kitchen.
Bella felt her cheeks grow warm under Alice’s appraisal. She involuntarily reached up to smooth her unruly hair and leaned across the counter to peer into the mixing bowl.
“Blueberry? My favorite,” she said, hoping to keep the conversation focused on food.
“Mine too!” Alice exclaimed. “Edward makes them for me every Friday. I thought I’d try to return the favor for once. But I think I’ve messed up somewhere. The batter tastes all right, but it looks weird.”
Bella gingerly reached for the mixing spoon and gave it a stir. “It is kind of thin,” she agreed. “Just add a little more flour and it should be fine.”
“You think? I mixed all the dry and wet ingredients separately like the recipe said. Is it okay to just add more flour now that I have everything mixed together?”
Bella let out a short laugh. “Yeah, it’s fine. I do it all the time.”
“Really?” Alice asked as she scooped some flour out of the nearby canister. “You cook a lot?”
“Not at school. But when I’m home I cook for my dad all the time. And my mom was never very good at it, so I learned how to fend for myself at a pretty young age.”
“Wow, that’s great.” Alice sprinkled a little flour into the batter and looked to Bella for her cue to stop. “I was spoiled for a long time. My grandma was an awesome cook. She always tried to teach me but I never had much patience for it. Now I wish I’d paid more attention.”
She stirred in silence for a moment, watching with relief as the batter thickened. Then she found herself talking again, spilling the things she usually kept to herself.
“I hate when I talk about Em like she’s already gone. But sometimes it feels like she is. She can’t cook anymore, not since the accident. I guess they let her bake cookies and stuff at the home, under supervision. And Edward helps her make lunch or dinner here sometimes when she’s having one of her good days. But he has to measure everything out for her because she gets confused and doesn’t remember what she did two minutes ago. He’s so good with her - so patient. I get too upset, remembering how strong and independent she used to be. I just end up crying and have to leave the room.”
Alice blinked back the film of tears that had formed just talking about it. She glanced at Bella and winced at the sympathetic look on her face. If there was one thing she had in common with Edward, it was dislike of anyone’s pity.
“How’s this?” she asked with forced cheer, tipping the mixing bowl in Bella’s direction.
“Looks perfect. I think your grandmother would be proud.”
Alice looked at the sincerity in Bella’s brown eyes and understood exactly why Edward had fallen for her.
“So where’s my cousin this morning?” she asked with a grin, turning to the electric griddle and checking the temperature dial. She glanced back at Bella and almost laughed at the embarrassed flush that had colored her face.
“He’s in the bathroom. He’ll be down in a minute, I’m sure.”
Bella hoped he wasn’t showering again. She’d refused to wash away the delicious scent that enveloped her after their morning sex. She didn’t even want to put her own clothes back on. She knew she would have to later, for her afternoon classes. But until then, she would wallow in the remnants of the closeness they’d shared.
“Well, I hope you know CPR, because he may need it when he sees me actually making breakfast,” Alice joked. “He’s always getting on my case about being more self-sufficient. He’s such a Neanderthal sometimes. He seems to think I need to learn how to cook in order to get a man. I’ll bet you anything Jasper Whitlock doesn’t give a rat’s ass whether or not I can flip him a pancake in the morning.”
She practically snorted as she spooned the batter onto the griddle. Bella sidled onto one of the high chairs at the bar and watched Alice carefully ladle out five more round circles onto the hot surface.
“So things went well between you and Jasper last night?” Bella asked.
“Very well,” Alice answered, her grin nearing Cheshire cat proportions. “Not as well as your night with Edward, but I just met the guy. Give me time.”
She gave Bella an eyebrow waggle that made her laugh and blush all over again. Alice wondered if the girl had any idea how unusual it was for her to be here, in the Cullen household, at nine a.m. She glanced out the entryway to the living room to make sure her cousin wasn’t approaching.
“There’s something you should know about Edward,” she began. Bella’s eyes widened, her expression anxious. Alice spoke quickly to reassure her.
“Look, I know how you met him. Considering what he does for a living, I know how hard it must be for you to get to close to him - to trust him. But for what it’s worth, you should know that you’re the first girl he’s ever brought here to the house. The only girl. I’m making breakfast for the both of you because this is actually a huge, momentous occasion, as far as I’m concerned. You’re obviously really special to him. And he’s special to me. So, voila! My first attempt at pancakes.” She waved her arms over the griddle in the manner of a game show presenter. “Oh, and bacon. Shit! I forgot the bacon!”
And she was off to the refrigerator before Bella’s slack jaw could close itself. As her mind processed the information Alice had just given her, her eyes gradually focused on the abandoned pancakes bubbling on the griddle.
“You need to turn those,” she said, still in a daze. The first girl - the only girl - Edward ever brought home. . . ?
Alice was too busy digging a fry pan out of the cupboards to hear her. Bella shook her head a couple of times to snap herself out of her stupor, then hopped off the stool and padded over to the griddle on the countertop. She grabbed the spatula Alice had left there and began flipping the pancakes one by one.
Alice glanced over with a sigh of relief. “Thanks. I can’t believe I forgot this. I’m usually so good at multi-tasking, too,” she berated herself as she ripped at the packaging on the bacon.
“It’s fine,” Bella reassured her. “We can cover the pancakes with aluminum foil to keep them warm while the bacon is cooking.”
“Good idea,” Alice noted, wondering why she hadn’t thought of that. “Crap, this is still half-frozen!” She slapped the entire slab of pork into the warm pan and began poking impatiently at it with a pair of tongs, hoping to hurry up the thawing process. Meanwhile, Bella took the initiative to search for a serving dish. Alice directed her to the right cupboard, then to the drawer holding the aluminum foil. She smiled as she watched Bella slide the spatula under one pancake to check for doneness.
“We make a good team,” she observed. “Like in the bookstore.”
Bella’s answering smile matched hers. “Looks that way,” she agreed.
They each turned their attention back to the task at hand, working side by side in silence for a moment. But once Bella had the finished pancakes safely under wraps, she couldn’t help but question Alice’s confession.
“I’m sorry, but how could I possibly be the first girl Edward has ever brought home? I mean, he’s twenty-four years old. Surely there was somebody he dated at some point.”
Alice shook her head emphatically. “Nope. He put most of his energy into music when he was younger. He had prom dates and stuff, but he’d pick them up at their houses - he never brought anyone back here to meet Em. Once he was in college, he hardly ever came home. He spent summers doing internships that took him all over the country, but never back here to Seattle. If he had any girlfriends, he never told us about them. And now . . .” she trailed off with a grimace. “Let’s just say that Edward never brings his work home.”
Bella nodded, getting the picture. So she was another first for him. His first virgin. And now, his first . . . what? What was she to him? Was there a name for it? Could an escort really have a girlfriend, by any standard definition of the word? And could she ever call a man in that profession her boyfriend?
The titles hardly seemed accurate, or adequate, when she remembered the look in his eyes just half an hour ago when their bodies had combusted in a fiery union that took her breath away. There were no labels to define or contain what they had together. It was too big for that. Too much. It felt very far removed from the life she lived when they were apart. The closest word Bella could find to describe it was love.
But that word was still a little scary. Premature, at best; foolish, at worst. She was afraid to assign it to the budding relationship she shared with Edward, even though it had crossed her mind more than once the past twenty-four hours. Better to play it by ear, to simply live in the moment, than to let her imagination go wild and conjure up a future that revolved around the concept of love.
She watched Alice turn the bacon; listened to it sizzle and snap as it filled the kitchen with a tantalizing aroma. Surely the smell would lure Edward downstairs soon. She turned her eyes to the ceiling and wondered what was keeping him.
# # # # # # # # # #
Edward stood stock still in the bathroom, frowning into the mirror. He didn’t particularly like looking at himself. If he studied his features too long, they began to take on fun-house mirror proportions: eyebrows too thick, eyes overly large and wide-set, nose too flat and crooked, chin aggressively prominent. Why on earth did women find him attractive?
But he didn’t care about women, plural. He could muster the desire to impress only one. The girl whose very essence clung to him right now, sweet and heady. He had planned to shower, even though they had done so before going to sleep last night. But the sticky splendor of being inside her moments ago was not something he could willingly surrender. Not yet. Not until he had to get ready for his appointment tonight.
He couldn’t think about that. His brain fairly screamed in protest at the prospect. Yet the thought prevailed, hanging above him, the proverbial dark cloud. Tonight’s date was a regular. He knew what she liked, what she wanted, what he would be obligated to provide. He used to enjoy being with her. She was one of his preferred clients - funny, smart, attractive. She worked in PR and she often hired him as her date for industry events. That part would be easy. But later . . .
He sighed in frustration and watched his features harden. What the hell was he going to do about this? Bella deserved better. And if he planned to keep seeing her, something was going to have to give. He couldn’t let it be her. How could he let go of the one person who had brought him back to life? He was past resenting her for making waves in the placid surface of his empty existence. She dove in deep, effortlessly, that first night. The depths to which she’d taken him were too exhilarating to trade for that shallow pool he’d mindlessly paddled before. Drowning in her was a welcome release.
But now he had to figure out how to swim.
Charlotte. The name bobbed into his head like a life-saving buoy. He hated to admit that the answer might lie with her. He dreaded asking her for a single penny of her late husband’s money, but the truth was, it could help him out a lot. Maybe let him lighten his schedule with Renaissance Escorts so he could focus on getting into music again. He could put together a list of contacts from his years of study at Julliard and find out if there was a place for him somewhere.
But he knew what it would take to get back in fighting form, and it wouldn’t happen overnight. He would need far more time to devote to practicing the piano, and he would have to commit to it one-hundred percent if he had any hope of getting back in the game. Music would have to become his number one priority again. But where did that leave Bella?
She’ll be concentrating on school, he told himself. We’ll both be working on our careers. But this time I won’t just be doing it for myself. I’ll be doing it for the both of us.
He smiled grimly at his reflection, willing the mental pep talk to come true. To be possible. Attainable. Not just some pipe dream to be put on hold for another year, and another, while he continued whoring himself out to pay the bills.
“One thing’s for sure,” he announced to his skeptical expression in the mirror. “You won’t know if you don’t try.”
He ran his hand through his hair, thinking that he should comb out the tangles Bella’s clutching fingers had created, but wanting to do no such thing. He left the disarray intact and marched, buck naked, back to his bedroom. He rifled through his dresser for a clean t-shirt and sweatpants to cover his body, still coated in dried sweat and sexual discharge. He usually hated that feeling. Today it was a strangely intoxicating heaven he never wanted to leave.
He bounded down the stairs to the living room, slowing near the landing when he heard his name wafting from the kitchen.
“That’s the thing,” came Alice’s voice. “You could make a huge difference in Edward’s life. You already have. You could be the one person who can get him out of the business.”
Bella’s tone was unsure. “But I started out as one of his customers. How big a hypocrite would I be if I asked him to give up his job for me?”
“Maybe you won’t have to. At least not directly. Trust me, if Edward feels about you the way I think he does, he won’t be able to keep this double life up for long. He’s just not the type to screw around on someone who means something to him.”
“How do you know that?” Bella replied in that abrupt candor of hers. “You said he’s never had a girlfriend. Maybe he did and you just didn’t know about it. Maybe he’s able to compartmentalize and keep his work totally separate from his personal life.”
“Maybe,” Alice conceded doubtfully. “But I don’t think he’s devious enough for that. Most men are simple creatures. They can only concentrate on one thing at a time. For Edward, that was always music. After he gave that up, he put all his attention into cleaning up Em’s finances and getting her into a place that specializes in treating Alzheimer’s patients. All my pleas to get him to look for another way to pay for it fell on deaf ears. He’s so fucking stubborn,” she said with a sigh that he recognized well.
“But with you, he’s different,” he heard her continue. “He’s like his old self. The Edward who used to have a sense of humor and some joy in life, despite the losses we both suffered as kids. I like that Edward. I want him to stick around. And I know you’re the key to making that happen.”
There was a short silence, as if Bella were absorbing her words. Edward knew he was.
“I hope so,” she answered at last, in that soft alto that made his chest ache.
He decided it was time to make his presence known before his guilt at eavesdropping kicked in.
“Do I smell bacon?” he called, announcing his arrival before he reached the kitchen doorway.
“You know it,” Alice replied with smug glee. “Observe,” she ordered as he entered the room. He watched in surprise as she wielded a pair of tongs, lifting cooked pieces of bacon one by one from a frying pan into a paper towel-lined dish. “And I made pancakes, too!”
Bella nodded vigorously, lifting the foil off the plate of blueberry cakes to corroborate Alice’s statement. Edward approached the two behind the counter and gave the pancakes a quick peek, along with a wink at Bella.
“Impressive,” he said to his cousin. “And I might even believe you if Bella weren’t here. It was nice of her to let you take the credit for making breakfast.”
“What?!” Alice shrieked. “I’ll have you know I made those pancakes from scratch all by myself. I followed Em’s recipe, just like you always do.”
“It’s true,” Bella piped up. “All I did was flip them over when they were ready.”
“And tell me to add a little flour when the dough wasn’t right. But I did the rest,” she insisted with a pout. She gave Edward a slug on the arm for good measure.
“Hey! No violence before I’ve eaten,” he ordered. He noticed Alice hadn’t gotten out any plates or silverware yet, so he took care of that task, setting them in a row along the bar. She followed behind with the food, while Edward pulled a bar stool out for Bella. He did the same for Alice, waiting until she’d climbed onto the high chair before he seated himself between them.
“Such manners,” she teased.
“I have a date I’m trying to impress here,” he retorted. He turned to Bella with a grin. “Is it working?”
“Like a charm.”
They loaded their plates, passed the syrup, and took a few bites before Edward proclaimed, “Alice, you have outdone yourself. You finally made your own breakfast, and it even tastes good to boot. Nice job.”
Alice elbowed him and narrowed her eyes. “Of course it tastes good, oh ye of little faith. I’ve watched you do it for years. If you can make pancakes, anyone can.”
“Ha. Nice,” he shot back, then turned to Bella. “Do you see what I’ve had to put up with all these years?”
“Well, actually, I’m more interested in the fact that you make this breakfast every week for Alice. You didn’t tell me you could cook,” she said reproachfully.
Edward remembered their discussion about the subject quite well. Per usual, he had focused on her and disclosed little about himself. That was always his M.O. with clients. He’d known even then that it wouldn’t work with her. Yet he still felt himself falling back on evasiveness, even after he’d revealed more to her last night than he’d revealed to anyone before.
“I do all right,” he answered with a modest shrug. “Just basic stuff. I can whip up some eggs, and work a grill pretty well.”
Alice leaned forward and addressed Bella. “Remember when I said I wish I’d paid more attention to Em when she tried to teach me to cook? Well, Edward did. Brown-noser,” she added with a snort.
“At least I won’t starve if In-N-Out Burger ever goes belly up.”
“Says the guy who clogs an artery daily at Mott’s Diner.”
Alice was immediately sorry she let that one fly. She knew she’d hit the mark before Edward ever flinched. Even Bella gave her a funny look, and she realized they must have met there for their morning date the week before. She was ready to make some sort of apology when Edward took a different tack.
“Well, this meal isn’t bad, as far as dress rehearsals go,” he said.
Alice decided to play along. “Dress rehearsals?”
“Yeah. I’m assuming you’re using us as guinea pigs so you can impress that Jasper Whitman guy from last night with your culinary skills.”
“Whitlock,” she corrected, looking as peeved as Edward hoped she would. “And trust me, I do not need to be able to cook to get a man, you chauvinist moron.”
Edward chuckled and scooted his chair back. “Like shooting fish in a barrel,” he said under his breath as he hopped down and headed for the refrigerator. “Would you ladies like something to drink? Milk? Orange juice? Maybe some coffee?” He picked up the empty pot from the coffeemaker on the counter and frowned at it. “Oh, sorry, there isn’t any made. I’ll just take care of that little oversight right now.”
He smiled sweetly at Alice, who sneered in return. “Fine. I forgot the beverages, okay? I’m a sucky cook. See if I ever try to do something nice for you and your girlfriend again.”
And there was the word, finally spoken out loud.
Girlfriend.
It seemed to reverberate around the kitchen, echoing off the stainless steel, granite and tile, ringing in Bella’s ears. She glanced at Edward for his reaction, but he was too busy staring at Alice, his mouth ajar.
“What?” she demanded, looking perplexed. “It sounded like you two were working up quite an appetite this morning, so I figured you wouldn’t notice if the food wasn’t up to par. Guess I was wrong.”
“Alice!” Edward hissed at her indiscretion.
“Oh, come on,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Why are we pussyfooting around the subject? We’re all grown-ups here. It’s not like I need Sherlock Holmes to crack this code. I watched you last night at dinner together, all cozy and schmoopy-eyed, playing footsy under the table. And I won’t even elaborate on the fact that the walls in this house aren’t exactly sound-proof. You two are obviously crazy about each other. And I, for one, am ecstatic about that particular development. Aren’t you?”
Her eyes darted between their faces, both painted in varying shades of embarrassment. She was beginning to suspect it would take some time and effort for these two to get out of their own way. She already knew her cousin was good at sabotaging himself, so she was hoping Bella would be different. But the girl seemed to waffle between confidence and insecurity whenever the wind changed. She wondered if Edward’s profession was the sole culprit, or if there was something else holding her back.
She looked back at her cousin, his mouth drawn tight, eyes warning. She had overstepped, that much was clear. She bit her lip and braced herself.
“Whatever my relationship is with Bella, it’s between her and me,” he said, his voice low and eerily calm.
“Fine,” Alice mumbled, not sounding particularly contrite. Her tone was more conciliatory when she turned to Bella. “I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“You didn’t,” she denied, though her cheeks were still mottled pink. “And I thought breakfast was delicious, by the way. It was very thoughtful of you. Thanks.”
Alice beamed at Bella’s compliment. “You’re welcome.”
Edward flashed Bella grateful look, then exchanged one with his cousin that Bella couldn’t quite read. They appeared to come to some sort of familial understanding - forgiveness requested and given by both sides - within a couple of seconds. Edward turned away to make the coffee and Alice sighed in what sounded like resignation.
Bella decided to diffuse the lingering tension by asking about Alice’s classes. The conversation soon turned to the more benign topic of school, the girls comparing notes about teachers and assignments while Edward loaded the dishwasher. Bella rose from her stool to help, but he insisted that he and Alice had a system - whoever did the cooking was spared clean-up duties. Since Bella had flipped the flapjacks, he declared her exempt.
She was more than happy to sit back and watch his lithe form move around the kitchen instead. She was amazed at how much she loved watching him perform everyday mundane chores. It was a sight she knew she could get accustomed to in short order, should she be lucky enough to experience it again. She imagined what it would be like to live in this house, to curl up with Edward in that four-poster bed every night and wake up to the sight of him cooking breakfast for her. Alice had no idea how good she had it.
“You and I should meet for lunch on campus sometime,” Alice suggested, interrupting her daydream. “What’s your schedule like?”
A quick discussion determined that Thursday was a good day, since they both had several hours between classes and Bella didn’t work until the evening.
“I’ll call Jasper and see if he can come, too,” Alice added enthusiastically. “He and I had lunch together at this great burger joint a few days ago. We should all meet up there. You too, Edward. I think you’d like him if you got to know him.”
The girls both looked hopefully in Edward’s direction. He turned to the bar with a sponge, wiping down the counter as he answered.
“I’ll be with Em that day,” he reminded them gently.
“Couldn’t you just go see her afterward? It’s not like she knows you’re there half the time anyway,” Alice wheedled.
Edward’s face hardened around the edges. “She knows. Maybe if you went to see her more often, she’d remember you better, too.”
It was Alice’s turn to stiffen, her eyes watering at the wound he’d just inflicted. “Maybe,” she whispered. “Maybe not.”
Edward knew how hard it was for his cousin to watch the deterioration of their once-vibrant grandmother, so he let the subject drop.
“Lunch sounds good - maybe some other day. I promise I’ll meet this Jasper kid if that’s what you really want.“
Alice giggled. “He’s only a couple years younger than you, Edward. Honestly, you act like such an old man sometimes. You’re not even twenty-five and I feel like I should get you a tweed suit and a cane for Christmas.”
That drew a soft snort from Bella, to which Alice remarked, “Am I right? Maybe you can get Grandpa Edward here to loosen up a little.”
“Oh, I think he’s loose enough when he wants to be,” she replied, eyes twinkling.
Alice watched her share one of those secret looks with her cousin, this one rife with innuendo. Maybe it wouldn’t take as much time as she feared for the two of them to make some progress.
Edward tried to stifle his grin with a look of reproach. “Well, since I’m obviously the only voice of responsibility around here, I’m afraid it’s my duty to remind you that you have your first class in less than an hour,” he told Bella. “I can take you back to campus whenever you’re ready.”
Her heart sank at his words. One glance at the kitchen clock proved he was right. She felt like Cinderella, dreading her fairytale’s end with each tick of the second hand.
“Yeah, I should go,” she said, wondering if it sounded as much like a death knell as it felt. “I’ll get my things.”
She hopped off the bar stool and went to the landing where she’d hung her backpack last night. She grabbed it off the hook and headed back upstairs to retrieve her clothes, happy to find Edward at her heels. As soon as they were alone in his room again, she felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her back against him.
“I’ll miss you,” he murmured in her ear, planting several small kisses on the tender skin beneath.
She leaned back against him and let her eyes close so she could concentrate on the feel of his body next to hers.
“I don’t want to go,” she replied, her voice sounding small and helpless. “Can’t we just stay here and make everything else go away?”
He rocked her gently, exhaling into her hair and squeezing her more tightly. Her arms grasped his in return, her face turning toward his, cheek willfully scraping along the stubble of his jaw.
“I want to make it go away,” he said, hoping she knew what he meant; wishing he could promise more. “I don’t know exactly how, or how long it will take. But I want to change things. I want to be the kind of guy who actually deserves you for a girlfriend. The kind of guy you’re not ashamed to call your boyfriend.”
She pulled away slightly, only so she could turn to face him and look him in the eyes. “I’m not ashamed of you. I could never be ashamed of you. Yes, I’d love for you to find a different way to make a living. But your job doesn’t define you. It’s not who you are. It’s just what you do. And you can always change what you do.”
Edward felt his eyes welling up at her words; at her emphatic gaze. He wanted to say the words - those three little words of truth that rang through his head, over and over, desperate to be said and heard. But when he tried to form the words, he choked on them, and the tears threatened to spill over.
So he took her face in his hands pressed mute lips to hers, hard and desperate, to make her feel the meaning instead. He kissed her over and over, each one a silent profession, a tender plea. Her lips answered with passionate professions and assurances of their own.
I love you, too.
# # # # # # # # # #
Edward’s lips were still tingling as he headed back to his car.
Somehow he had managed to drag Bella from his bedroom, drive her back to her dorm room and deposit her there without making love to her again on the nearest padded surface. But the kisses? They were another story. Fast and furious, long and longing, they refused to be ignored or ended before their time. The kisses had their way with both of them. Edward was pretty sure the kisses were going to make Bella late for her first class, unless she attended it in his clothes, her tangled sex hair pulled into a messy knot at the nape of her neck.
He found out later that this was exactly what she did.
But for now, he ambled back to his C-70 in a love-struck daze, dick at half-mast, bee-stung lips pressed into a purposeful line. He pulled out his cell phone as he approached the car, knowing exactly what he had to do.
She answered on the third ring, her tone cool but tinged with warm surprise. He loved the sound of her voice even more today than usual.
“Edward - how nice to hear from you on a Monday morning. Is everything all right?”
“No, but it will be. I hope. Are you busy?”
“I’m never too busy for you, dear boy. You know that.”
“Then I’ll see you in twenty minutes.”
“I look forward to it,” she replied, but he had already hung up the phone.
Charlotte hummed to herself as she strolled to her desk and picked up the envelope that had just arrived in the mail. She pulled out the letter and read it once more, smiling with satisfaction at her small coup. After hearing the determination in Edward’s voice, she had the feeling he would welcome her news far more readily than she had ever hoped.
She carried the envelope and its precious contents out to the veranda, settled into her favorite wicker chaise lounge, and waited for Edward to arrive.
She had just dipped one index finger into the bowl when she spied movement out of the corner of one eye. Her batter-covered finger was already in her mouth by the time she realized Bella Swan had just stepped into the kitchen.
Alice’s eyes snapped to attention and she swallowed quickly. “You did not just see that,” she said, more an order than a wish.
Bella laughed. “Okay, I didn’t,” she readily agreed. “But it’s perfectly fine for the cook to taste the broth, in my opinion.”
“Good! Or pancake batter, in this case,” Alice replied.
She tried not to gape openly at the first sleep-over date her cousin had ever entertained in this house. But it was hard not to gaze in wonder at Bella’s obvious bed-head and post-coital glow, not to mention Edward’s borrowed t-shirt and sweats overwhelming her small frame. It was one thing to be awakened by muffled sex noises coming from the next bedroom, but quite another to see the living proof standing in her kitchen.
Bella felt her cheeks grow warm under Alice’s appraisal. She involuntarily reached up to smooth her unruly hair and leaned across the counter to peer into the mixing bowl.
“Blueberry? My favorite,” she said, hoping to keep the conversation focused on food.
“Mine too!” Alice exclaimed. “Edward makes them for me every Friday. I thought I’d try to return the favor for once. But I think I’ve messed up somewhere. The batter tastes all right, but it looks weird.”
Bella gingerly reached for the mixing spoon and gave it a stir. “It is kind of thin,” she agreed. “Just add a little more flour and it should be fine.”
“You think? I mixed all the dry and wet ingredients separately like the recipe said. Is it okay to just add more flour now that I have everything mixed together?”
Bella let out a short laugh. “Yeah, it’s fine. I do it all the time.”
“Really?” Alice asked as she scooped some flour out of the nearby canister. “You cook a lot?”
“Not at school. But when I’m home I cook for my dad all the time. And my mom was never very good at it, so I learned how to fend for myself at a pretty young age.”
“Wow, that’s great.” Alice sprinkled a little flour into the batter and looked to Bella for her cue to stop. “I was spoiled for a long time. My grandma was an awesome cook. She always tried to teach me but I never had much patience for it. Now I wish I’d paid more attention.”
She stirred in silence for a moment, watching with relief as the batter thickened. Then she found herself talking again, spilling the things she usually kept to herself.
“I hate when I talk about Em like she’s already gone. But sometimes it feels like she is. She can’t cook anymore, not since the accident. I guess they let her bake cookies and stuff at the home, under supervision. And Edward helps her make lunch or dinner here sometimes when she’s having one of her good days. But he has to measure everything out for her because she gets confused and doesn’t remember what she did two minutes ago. He’s so good with her - so patient. I get too upset, remembering how strong and independent she used to be. I just end up crying and have to leave the room.”
Alice blinked back the film of tears that had formed just talking about it. She glanced at Bella and winced at the sympathetic look on her face. If there was one thing she had in common with Edward, it was dislike of anyone’s pity.
“How’s this?” she asked with forced cheer, tipping the mixing bowl in Bella’s direction.
“Looks perfect. I think your grandmother would be proud.”
Alice looked at the sincerity in Bella’s brown eyes and understood exactly why Edward had fallen for her.
“So where’s my cousin this morning?” she asked with a grin, turning to the electric griddle and checking the temperature dial. She glanced back at Bella and almost laughed at the embarrassed flush that had colored her face.
“He’s in the bathroom. He’ll be down in a minute, I’m sure.”
Bella hoped he wasn’t showering again. She’d refused to wash away the delicious scent that enveloped her after their morning sex. She didn’t even want to put her own clothes back on. She knew she would have to later, for her afternoon classes. But until then, she would wallow in the remnants of the closeness they’d shared.
“Well, I hope you know CPR, because he may need it when he sees me actually making breakfast,” Alice joked. “He’s always getting on my case about being more self-sufficient. He’s such a Neanderthal sometimes. He seems to think I need to learn how to cook in order to get a man. I’ll bet you anything Jasper Whitlock doesn’t give a rat’s ass whether or not I can flip him a pancake in the morning.”
She practically snorted as she spooned the batter onto the griddle. Bella sidled onto one of the high chairs at the bar and watched Alice carefully ladle out five more round circles onto the hot surface.
“So things went well between you and Jasper last night?” Bella asked.
“Very well,” Alice answered, her grin nearing Cheshire cat proportions. “Not as well as your night with Edward, but I just met the guy. Give me time.”
She gave Bella an eyebrow waggle that made her laugh and blush all over again. Alice wondered if the girl had any idea how unusual it was for her to be here, in the Cullen household, at nine a.m. She glanced out the entryway to the living room to make sure her cousin wasn’t approaching.
“There’s something you should know about Edward,” she began. Bella’s eyes widened, her expression anxious. Alice spoke quickly to reassure her.
“Look, I know how you met him. Considering what he does for a living, I know how hard it must be for you to get to close to him - to trust him. But for what it’s worth, you should know that you’re the first girl he’s ever brought here to the house. The only girl. I’m making breakfast for the both of you because this is actually a huge, momentous occasion, as far as I’m concerned. You’re obviously really special to him. And he’s special to me. So, voila! My first attempt at pancakes.” She waved her arms over the griddle in the manner of a game show presenter. “Oh, and bacon. Shit! I forgot the bacon!”
And she was off to the refrigerator before Bella’s slack jaw could close itself. As her mind processed the information Alice had just given her, her eyes gradually focused on the abandoned pancakes bubbling on the griddle.
“You need to turn those,” she said, still in a daze. The first girl - the only girl - Edward ever brought home. . . ?
Alice was too busy digging a fry pan out of the cupboards to hear her. Bella shook her head a couple of times to snap herself out of her stupor, then hopped off the stool and padded over to the griddle on the countertop. She grabbed the spatula Alice had left there and began flipping the pancakes one by one.
Alice glanced over with a sigh of relief. “Thanks. I can’t believe I forgot this. I’m usually so good at multi-tasking, too,” she berated herself as she ripped at the packaging on the bacon.
“It’s fine,” Bella reassured her. “We can cover the pancakes with aluminum foil to keep them warm while the bacon is cooking.”
“Good idea,” Alice noted, wondering why she hadn’t thought of that. “Crap, this is still half-frozen!” She slapped the entire slab of pork into the warm pan and began poking impatiently at it with a pair of tongs, hoping to hurry up the thawing process. Meanwhile, Bella took the initiative to search for a serving dish. Alice directed her to the right cupboard, then to the drawer holding the aluminum foil. She smiled as she watched Bella slide the spatula under one pancake to check for doneness.
“We make a good team,” she observed. “Like in the bookstore.”
Bella’s answering smile matched hers. “Looks that way,” she agreed.
They each turned their attention back to the task at hand, working side by side in silence for a moment. But once Bella had the finished pancakes safely under wraps, she couldn’t help but question Alice’s confession.
“I’m sorry, but how could I possibly be the first girl Edward has ever brought home? I mean, he’s twenty-four years old. Surely there was somebody he dated at some point.”
Alice shook her head emphatically. “Nope. He put most of his energy into music when he was younger. He had prom dates and stuff, but he’d pick them up at their houses - he never brought anyone back here to meet Em. Once he was in college, he hardly ever came home. He spent summers doing internships that took him all over the country, but never back here to Seattle. If he had any girlfriends, he never told us about them. And now . . .” she trailed off with a grimace. “Let’s just say that Edward never brings his work home.”
Bella nodded, getting the picture. So she was another first for him. His first virgin. And now, his first . . . what? What was she to him? Was there a name for it? Could an escort really have a girlfriend, by any standard definition of the word? And could she ever call a man in that profession her boyfriend?
The titles hardly seemed accurate, or adequate, when she remembered the look in his eyes just half an hour ago when their bodies had combusted in a fiery union that took her breath away. There were no labels to define or contain what they had together. It was too big for that. Too much. It felt very far removed from the life she lived when they were apart. The closest word Bella could find to describe it was love.
But that word was still a little scary. Premature, at best; foolish, at worst. She was afraid to assign it to the budding relationship she shared with Edward, even though it had crossed her mind more than once the past twenty-four hours. Better to play it by ear, to simply live in the moment, than to let her imagination go wild and conjure up a future that revolved around the concept of love.
She watched Alice turn the bacon; listened to it sizzle and snap as it filled the kitchen with a tantalizing aroma. Surely the smell would lure Edward downstairs soon. She turned her eyes to the ceiling and wondered what was keeping him.
# # # # # # # # # #
Edward stood stock still in the bathroom, frowning into the mirror. He didn’t particularly like looking at himself. If he studied his features too long, they began to take on fun-house mirror proportions: eyebrows too thick, eyes overly large and wide-set, nose too flat and crooked, chin aggressively prominent. Why on earth did women find him attractive?
But he didn’t care about women, plural. He could muster the desire to impress only one. The girl whose very essence clung to him right now, sweet and heady. He had planned to shower, even though they had done so before going to sleep last night. But the sticky splendor of being inside her moments ago was not something he could willingly surrender. Not yet. Not until he had to get ready for his appointment tonight.
He couldn’t think about that. His brain fairly screamed in protest at the prospect. Yet the thought prevailed, hanging above him, the proverbial dark cloud. Tonight’s date was a regular. He knew what she liked, what she wanted, what he would be obligated to provide. He used to enjoy being with her. She was one of his preferred clients - funny, smart, attractive. She worked in PR and she often hired him as her date for industry events. That part would be easy. But later . . .
He sighed in frustration and watched his features harden. What the hell was he going to do about this? Bella deserved better. And if he planned to keep seeing her, something was going to have to give. He couldn’t let it be her. How could he let go of the one person who had brought him back to life? He was past resenting her for making waves in the placid surface of his empty existence. She dove in deep, effortlessly, that first night. The depths to which she’d taken him were too exhilarating to trade for that shallow pool he’d mindlessly paddled before. Drowning in her was a welcome release.
But now he had to figure out how to swim.
Charlotte. The name bobbed into his head like a life-saving buoy. He hated to admit that the answer might lie with her. He dreaded asking her for a single penny of her late husband’s money, but the truth was, it could help him out a lot. Maybe let him lighten his schedule with Renaissance Escorts so he could focus on getting into music again. He could put together a list of contacts from his years of study at Julliard and find out if there was a place for him somewhere.
But he knew what it would take to get back in fighting form, and it wouldn’t happen overnight. He would need far more time to devote to practicing the piano, and he would have to commit to it one-hundred percent if he had any hope of getting back in the game. Music would have to become his number one priority again. But where did that leave Bella?
She’ll be concentrating on school, he told himself. We’ll both be working on our careers. But this time I won’t just be doing it for myself. I’ll be doing it for the both of us.
He smiled grimly at his reflection, willing the mental pep talk to come true. To be possible. Attainable. Not just some pipe dream to be put on hold for another year, and another, while he continued whoring himself out to pay the bills.
“One thing’s for sure,” he announced to his skeptical expression in the mirror. “You won’t know if you don’t try.”
He ran his hand through his hair, thinking that he should comb out the tangles Bella’s clutching fingers had created, but wanting to do no such thing. He left the disarray intact and marched, buck naked, back to his bedroom. He rifled through his dresser for a clean t-shirt and sweatpants to cover his body, still coated in dried sweat and sexual discharge. He usually hated that feeling. Today it was a strangely intoxicating heaven he never wanted to leave.
He bounded down the stairs to the living room, slowing near the landing when he heard his name wafting from the kitchen.
“That’s the thing,” came Alice’s voice. “You could make a huge difference in Edward’s life. You already have. You could be the one person who can get him out of the business.”
Bella’s tone was unsure. “But I started out as one of his customers. How big a hypocrite would I be if I asked him to give up his job for me?”
“Maybe you won’t have to. At least not directly. Trust me, if Edward feels about you the way I think he does, he won’t be able to keep this double life up for long. He’s just not the type to screw around on someone who means something to him.”
“How do you know that?” Bella replied in that abrupt candor of hers. “You said he’s never had a girlfriend. Maybe he did and you just didn’t know about it. Maybe he’s able to compartmentalize and keep his work totally separate from his personal life.”
“Maybe,” Alice conceded doubtfully. “But I don’t think he’s devious enough for that. Most men are simple creatures. They can only concentrate on one thing at a time. For Edward, that was always music. After he gave that up, he put all his attention into cleaning up Em’s finances and getting her into a place that specializes in treating Alzheimer’s patients. All my pleas to get him to look for another way to pay for it fell on deaf ears. He’s so fucking stubborn,” she said with a sigh that he recognized well.
“But with you, he’s different,” he heard her continue. “He’s like his old self. The Edward who used to have a sense of humor and some joy in life, despite the losses we both suffered as kids. I like that Edward. I want him to stick around. And I know you’re the key to making that happen.”
There was a short silence, as if Bella were absorbing her words. Edward knew he was.
“I hope so,” she answered at last, in that soft alto that made his chest ache.
He decided it was time to make his presence known before his guilt at eavesdropping kicked in.
“Do I smell bacon?” he called, announcing his arrival before he reached the kitchen doorway.
“You know it,” Alice replied with smug glee. “Observe,” she ordered as he entered the room. He watched in surprise as she wielded a pair of tongs, lifting cooked pieces of bacon one by one from a frying pan into a paper towel-lined dish. “And I made pancakes, too!”
Bella nodded vigorously, lifting the foil off the plate of blueberry cakes to corroborate Alice’s statement. Edward approached the two behind the counter and gave the pancakes a quick peek, along with a wink at Bella.
“Impressive,” he said to his cousin. “And I might even believe you if Bella weren’t here. It was nice of her to let you take the credit for making breakfast.”
“What?!” Alice shrieked. “I’ll have you know I made those pancakes from scratch all by myself. I followed Em’s recipe, just like you always do.”
“It’s true,” Bella piped up. “All I did was flip them over when they were ready.”
“And tell me to add a little flour when the dough wasn’t right. But I did the rest,” she insisted with a pout. She gave Edward a slug on the arm for good measure.
“Hey! No violence before I’ve eaten,” he ordered. He noticed Alice hadn’t gotten out any plates or silverware yet, so he took care of that task, setting them in a row along the bar. She followed behind with the food, while Edward pulled a bar stool out for Bella. He did the same for Alice, waiting until she’d climbed onto the high chair before he seated himself between them.
“Such manners,” she teased.
“I have a date I’m trying to impress here,” he retorted. He turned to Bella with a grin. “Is it working?”
“Like a charm.”
They loaded their plates, passed the syrup, and took a few bites before Edward proclaimed, “Alice, you have outdone yourself. You finally made your own breakfast, and it even tastes good to boot. Nice job.”
Alice elbowed him and narrowed her eyes. “Of course it tastes good, oh ye of little faith. I’ve watched you do it for years. If you can make pancakes, anyone can.”
“Ha. Nice,” he shot back, then turned to Bella. “Do you see what I’ve had to put up with all these years?”
“Well, actually, I’m more interested in the fact that you make this breakfast every week for Alice. You didn’t tell me you could cook,” she said reproachfully.
Edward remembered their discussion about the subject quite well. Per usual, he had focused on her and disclosed little about himself. That was always his M.O. with clients. He’d known even then that it wouldn’t work with her. Yet he still felt himself falling back on evasiveness, even after he’d revealed more to her last night than he’d revealed to anyone before.
“I do all right,” he answered with a modest shrug. “Just basic stuff. I can whip up some eggs, and work a grill pretty well.”
Alice leaned forward and addressed Bella. “Remember when I said I wish I’d paid more attention to Em when she tried to teach me to cook? Well, Edward did. Brown-noser,” she added with a snort.
“At least I won’t starve if In-N-Out Burger ever goes belly up.”
“Says the guy who clogs an artery daily at Mott’s Diner.”
Alice was immediately sorry she let that one fly. She knew she’d hit the mark before Edward ever flinched. Even Bella gave her a funny look, and she realized they must have met there for their morning date the week before. She was ready to make some sort of apology when Edward took a different tack.
“Well, this meal isn’t bad, as far as dress rehearsals go,” he said.
Alice decided to play along. “Dress rehearsals?”
“Yeah. I’m assuming you’re using us as guinea pigs so you can impress that Jasper Whitman guy from last night with your culinary skills.”
“Whitlock,” she corrected, looking as peeved as Edward hoped she would. “And trust me, I do not need to be able to cook to get a man, you chauvinist moron.”
Edward chuckled and scooted his chair back. “Like shooting fish in a barrel,” he said under his breath as he hopped down and headed for the refrigerator. “Would you ladies like something to drink? Milk? Orange juice? Maybe some coffee?” He picked up the empty pot from the coffeemaker on the counter and frowned at it. “Oh, sorry, there isn’t any made. I’ll just take care of that little oversight right now.”
He smiled sweetly at Alice, who sneered in return. “Fine. I forgot the beverages, okay? I’m a sucky cook. See if I ever try to do something nice for you and your girlfriend again.”
And there was the word, finally spoken out loud.
Girlfriend.
It seemed to reverberate around the kitchen, echoing off the stainless steel, granite and tile, ringing in Bella’s ears. She glanced at Edward for his reaction, but he was too busy staring at Alice, his mouth ajar.
“What?” she demanded, looking perplexed. “It sounded like you two were working up quite an appetite this morning, so I figured you wouldn’t notice if the food wasn’t up to par. Guess I was wrong.”
“Alice!” Edward hissed at her indiscretion.
“Oh, come on,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Why are we pussyfooting around the subject? We’re all grown-ups here. It’s not like I need Sherlock Holmes to crack this code. I watched you last night at dinner together, all cozy and schmoopy-eyed, playing footsy under the table. And I won’t even elaborate on the fact that the walls in this house aren’t exactly sound-proof. You two are obviously crazy about each other. And I, for one, am ecstatic about that particular development. Aren’t you?”
Her eyes darted between their faces, both painted in varying shades of embarrassment. She was beginning to suspect it would take some time and effort for these two to get out of their own way. She already knew her cousin was good at sabotaging himself, so she was hoping Bella would be different. But the girl seemed to waffle between confidence and insecurity whenever the wind changed. She wondered if Edward’s profession was the sole culprit, or if there was something else holding her back.
She looked back at her cousin, his mouth drawn tight, eyes warning. She had overstepped, that much was clear. She bit her lip and braced herself.
“Whatever my relationship is with Bella, it’s between her and me,” he said, his voice low and eerily calm.
“Fine,” Alice mumbled, not sounding particularly contrite. Her tone was more conciliatory when she turned to Bella. “I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“You didn’t,” she denied, though her cheeks were still mottled pink. “And I thought breakfast was delicious, by the way. It was very thoughtful of you. Thanks.”
Alice beamed at Bella’s compliment. “You’re welcome.”
Edward flashed Bella grateful look, then exchanged one with his cousin that Bella couldn’t quite read. They appeared to come to some sort of familial understanding - forgiveness requested and given by both sides - within a couple of seconds. Edward turned away to make the coffee and Alice sighed in what sounded like resignation.
Bella decided to diffuse the lingering tension by asking about Alice’s classes. The conversation soon turned to the more benign topic of school, the girls comparing notes about teachers and assignments while Edward loaded the dishwasher. Bella rose from her stool to help, but he insisted that he and Alice had a system - whoever did the cooking was spared clean-up duties. Since Bella had flipped the flapjacks, he declared her exempt.
She was more than happy to sit back and watch his lithe form move around the kitchen instead. She was amazed at how much she loved watching him perform everyday mundane chores. It was a sight she knew she could get accustomed to in short order, should she be lucky enough to experience it again. She imagined what it would be like to live in this house, to curl up with Edward in that four-poster bed every night and wake up to the sight of him cooking breakfast for her. Alice had no idea how good she had it.
“You and I should meet for lunch on campus sometime,” Alice suggested, interrupting her daydream. “What’s your schedule like?”
A quick discussion determined that Thursday was a good day, since they both had several hours between classes and Bella didn’t work until the evening.
“I’ll call Jasper and see if he can come, too,” Alice added enthusiastically. “He and I had lunch together at this great burger joint a few days ago. We should all meet up there. You too, Edward. I think you’d like him if you got to know him.”
The girls both looked hopefully in Edward’s direction. He turned to the bar with a sponge, wiping down the counter as he answered.
“I’ll be with Em that day,” he reminded them gently.
“Couldn’t you just go see her afterward? It’s not like she knows you’re there half the time anyway,” Alice wheedled.
Edward’s face hardened around the edges. “She knows. Maybe if you went to see her more often, she’d remember you better, too.”
It was Alice’s turn to stiffen, her eyes watering at the wound he’d just inflicted. “Maybe,” she whispered. “Maybe not.”
Edward knew how hard it was for his cousin to watch the deterioration of their once-vibrant grandmother, so he let the subject drop.
“Lunch sounds good - maybe some other day. I promise I’ll meet this Jasper kid if that’s what you really want.“
Alice giggled. “He’s only a couple years younger than you, Edward. Honestly, you act like such an old man sometimes. You’re not even twenty-five and I feel like I should get you a tweed suit and a cane for Christmas.”
That drew a soft snort from Bella, to which Alice remarked, “Am I right? Maybe you can get Grandpa Edward here to loosen up a little.”
“Oh, I think he’s loose enough when he wants to be,” she replied, eyes twinkling.
Alice watched her share one of those secret looks with her cousin, this one rife with innuendo. Maybe it wouldn’t take as much time as she feared for the two of them to make some progress.
Edward tried to stifle his grin with a look of reproach. “Well, since I’m obviously the only voice of responsibility around here, I’m afraid it’s my duty to remind you that you have your first class in less than an hour,” he told Bella. “I can take you back to campus whenever you’re ready.”
Her heart sank at his words. One glance at the kitchen clock proved he was right. She felt like Cinderella, dreading her fairytale’s end with each tick of the second hand.
“Yeah, I should go,” she said, wondering if it sounded as much like a death knell as it felt. “I’ll get my things.”
She hopped off the bar stool and went to the landing where she’d hung her backpack last night. She grabbed it off the hook and headed back upstairs to retrieve her clothes, happy to find Edward at her heels. As soon as they were alone in his room again, she felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her back against him.
“I’ll miss you,” he murmured in her ear, planting several small kisses on the tender skin beneath.
She leaned back against him and let her eyes close so she could concentrate on the feel of his body next to hers.
“I don’t want to go,” she replied, her voice sounding small and helpless. “Can’t we just stay here and make everything else go away?”
He rocked her gently, exhaling into her hair and squeezing her more tightly. Her arms grasped his in return, her face turning toward his, cheek willfully scraping along the stubble of his jaw.
“I want to make it go away,” he said, hoping she knew what he meant; wishing he could promise more. “I don’t know exactly how, or how long it will take. But I want to change things. I want to be the kind of guy who actually deserves you for a girlfriend. The kind of guy you’re not ashamed to call your boyfriend.”
She pulled away slightly, only so she could turn to face him and look him in the eyes. “I’m not ashamed of you. I could never be ashamed of you. Yes, I’d love for you to find a different way to make a living. But your job doesn’t define you. It’s not who you are. It’s just what you do. And you can always change what you do.”
Edward felt his eyes welling up at her words; at her emphatic gaze. He wanted to say the words - those three little words of truth that rang through his head, over and over, desperate to be said and heard. But when he tried to form the words, he choked on them, and the tears threatened to spill over.
So he took her face in his hands pressed mute lips to hers, hard and desperate, to make her feel the meaning instead. He kissed her over and over, each one a silent profession, a tender plea. Her lips answered with passionate professions and assurances of their own.
I love you, too.
# # # # # # # # # #
Edward’s lips were still tingling as he headed back to his car.
Somehow he had managed to drag Bella from his bedroom, drive her back to her dorm room and deposit her there without making love to her again on the nearest padded surface. But the kisses? They were another story. Fast and furious, long and longing, they refused to be ignored or ended before their time. The kisses had their way with both of them. Edward was pretty sure the kisses were going to make Bella late for her first class, unless she attended it in his clothes, her tangled sex hair pulled into a messy knot at the nape of her neck.
He found out later that this was exactly what she did.
But for now, he ambled back to his C-70 in a love-struck daze, dick at half-mast, bee-stung lips pressed into a purposeful line. He pulled out his cell phone as he approached the car, knowing exactly what he had to do.
She answered on the third ring, her tone cool but tinged with warm surprise. He loved the sound of her voice even more today than usual.
“Edward - how nice to hear from you on a Monday morning. Is everything all right?”
“No, but it will be. I hope. Are you busy?”
“I’m never too busy for you, dear boy. You know that.”
“Then I’ll see you in twenty minutes.”
“I look forward to it,” she replied, but he had already hung up the phone.
Charlotte hummed to herself as she strolled to her desk and picked up the envelope that had just arrived in the mail. She pulled out the letter and read it once more, smiling with satisfaction at her small coup. After hearing the determination in Edward’s voice, she had the feeling he would welcome her news far more readily than she had ever hoped.
She carried the envelope and its precious contents out to the veranda, settled into her favorite wicker chaise lounge, and waited for Edward to arrive.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Chapter 30
The first rays of dawn filtered in through the blinds of Edward’s bedroom windows, painting the bed in bars of dusky gold. The comforter’s classic brocade weave glinted in shades of deep burgundy, the color of a fine wine - his favorite. Bella’s arms tightened around his warm body in the tangle of ivory sheets beneath their crimson cover. She breathed in the scent of his skin and the bedding he slept in, holding it in her lungs a moment before exhaling. How on earth could she go back to her empty matchstick dorm bed after this?
She’d think about that tomorrow. She was Scarlet O’Hara now, living in the moment, enjoying the here and now. She memorized the way the beams of light played over Edward’s features, augmenting the long, feathered shadows his eyelashes cast over his cheeks. She wished she could capture the image on her camera phone, but it was hanging in her backpack near the kitchen door. Better yet, she imagined how beautiful a pencil or charcoal rendering of him would be, though she was sure her own meager talents could never do him justice.
So she drank in the softly snoring work of art next to her on the pillow, absorbing each nuance, wondering if she would ever be saturated, ever have enough.
She already knew the answer. She could never get enough of him. She knew it the minute he pulled out of her last night and spilled his seed all over her, apologizing for the mess afterward, not understanding how much she loved it. How could he still think she wanted only his perfection? How was it that he didn’t realize she loved every self-imagined flaw about him?
But no, he insisted they shower afterward. Clean up the mess; wash off every drop of sperm and sweat and saliva, every grain of sand and sea salt that evidenced the gritty beauty of their day together. They brushed away their garlic breath and gave each other fresh kisses before falling into a soap-scented sleep. She wondered what happened to the guy who had insisted on kissing her despite their morning breath just two short weeks ago. She pressed her face into his shoulder until she could glean his scent through that of the dissipating shower gel, and there she found her happiness.
She luxuriated in it now. The drowsy remnants of slumber still held her captive in Edward’s arms. She could find no will to move, unless it was to draw closer to him. They had both awakened often during the night, smiling at the sight of one another, relishing the feel of each other’s warmth before falling into blissful unconsciousness again.
Bella thought she might drift off again were it not for the enticing picture he painted in the morning light. She didn’t want to close her eyes again and miss a moment of his breathing. She could feel each puff of air lightly on her face, each rise of his chest against her arm. This was heaven, pure and simple. She could think of nothing better than this, except for the way he made love to her. There were no words to describe the place he took her - the person he made her. She was different with him in the way she’d always dreamed of: confident, open, free.
She thought maybe she did the same for him. She hoped so, anyway.
He had not moved for ten minutes, at least. He seemed to be in a deep sleep despite the sun’s increasingly bold attempts at waking him. Bella finally tore her eyes from his face and began to look around the room, its details slowly making themselves known in the muted dawn. Aside from the sturdy, well-oiled furniture, there were paintings adorning the walls and photographs atop the dresser. The artwork resembled the tiny “bookmark” that Edward had yet to reclaim from her dorm room, and she assumed the water-color renderings of the Sound and surrounding landscapes were the work of his late mother. She could discern Elizabeth’s likeness in the photographs, too, along with the two Edwards in her life. Bella was itching to go take a closer look at those snippets of Edward’s past.
Gingerly, ever-so-carefully, she inched away from him under the covers. He grumbled a little and reached out in his sleep, grabbing the comforter and pulling it closer when she eluded his grasp. Her heart swelled at the gesture. She was amazed at the ache she felt as she slid out of the warm spot into the cool sheets at the edge of the bed. The hardwood floor was cold under her bare feet when they touched down.
She looked around for something to wear, but her clothes were still strewn with Edward’s all over the bedroom floor. She noticed his t-shirt had landed on the only chair in the room, so she grabbed it, shaking it out slightly before pulling it over her head. Yesterday’s beachy, musky scent still clung to it, and she wrapped her arms around her middle, pulling the soft cotton close to her body.
She padded quietly around the room, studying the landscape paintings first. Sure enough, each sported the familiar “E. Masen” signature in the lower right-hand corner. His mother had quite a talent, capturing her subject matter in dreamy washes of color with a few spare details added later in dry brush for definition. Bella had always had trouble using water color paints, and she admired the technique she saw before her.
She ended her jaunt at the dresser, gazing at Edward’s photos one by one. There were several of him as a child with his parents. She grinned in recognition at the tow-headed boy with bright blue eyes and a mischievous smirk reminiscent of the one he often gave her now.
And then there were the adolescent years, the photos portraying a gangly teen with over-large features and haunted eyes - the eyes of someone who had lost too much, too soon. But more recent pictures showed a younger version of the man she knew now: serious but confident, seated purposefully at an enormous upright piano in the now-empty corner of the living room downstairs.
Alice was in some of the pictures, ebullient and spiky-haired, the free-wheeling counterpoint to her cousin’s natural containment. Edward’s grin was broader when he stood next to her, as if the gravity of her own huge smile had pulled his wider.
But the photos that fascinated Bella the most were the ones of the two of them with their grandmother.
Bella wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the tiny woman anchoring dainty Alice and lanky Edward in every picture. Emily Cullen couldn’t have been much more than five feet tall, yet she still appeared to be the pillar of strength between her giddy granddaughter and melancholic grandson. Stalwart and robust, she was a compact, golden-haired powerhouse with a sturdy frame and no-nonsense expression. She had the sympathetic, yet slightly steely look of someone who had weathered many a storm. There was fierce pride in her face as she clutched her grandchildren to her. Emily was clearly the glue that held the remnants of her family together in a tight, protective bond.
Bella suddenly had a much better grasp of how overwhelming it must have been when that glue began to dissolve.
She turned to look at Edward once more; to study his handsome features furrowed in sleep. She let out a gasp of surprise when she found him propped up on a pillow against the headboard, watching her.
“You’re awake,” she blurted, her cheeks coloring like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t.
“The bed was cold,” he said, his honey tone masking the mild accusation.
“I’m sorry,” she said, not sure why she was apologizing. Her feet began carrying her back to his side without any conscious decision on her part. She crawled atop the covers and into his waiting arms.
“I hope you don’t mind my snooping,” she said, still feeling a bit like a naughty child.
“Why would I mind?” he said, putting her worries to rest. He laid a gentle hand on her hair. “I brought you here because I wanted to show you everything.”
She gave him a relieved smile. “I like looking at pictures of you and your family. Your grandmother looks like an amazing woman. You can see the strength and determination in her face. And the love. It’s easy to see how much she loves you.”
Bella looked into Edward’s sleepy gaze and wondered if he could see the same thing in her own eyes.
He smiled, and his eyes crinkled at her in that way that made her think he saw everything.
“The feeling’s mutual,” he told her, and she knew she was right.
He combed his fingers languidly through her hair, then frowned a little. “Did you sleep okay?”
“I slept great,” she said, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “I think you’ve ruined me for my dorm bed forever.”
“I like having you in my bed.” He wanted to add a promise to make sure she was in it more often, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Not until he figured out a way to make it come true.
“Did you have fun yesterday?” he continued, not sure why he was asking, or why he felt uncertain about the answer. He hadn’t felt the need for anyone’s approval this much in a long time.
“Are you kidding? Yesterday was amazing. So was last night.” She felt her face grow warm at the memories.
His answering smile was just as warm and full of intimate secrets. “It was, wasn’t it? Perfect,” he whispered. His arm tightened around her, hand squeezing her shoulder. “But we can’t do that again.”
Her eyes widened in panic. “Do what?” She was terrified he would tell her she’d just experienced their first, and last, date off the Renaissance Escorts clock.
“Have unprotected sex,” he clarified. “There are too many risks.” He didn’t want to name them all. Surely he didn’t have to.
Bella sighed in relief. “I know. I get it. But I promise you, I’m not going to get pregnant. I’ll text you when my period starts tomorrow, if you want.”
“It’s not just that,” he reminded her. “I get tested all the time, and I’m always careful - except when I’m with you. You make me careless. You make me forget everything. Everything except this. Here. Now.”
His eyes were wistful, fingers longing as they combed through in the silky hair above her ear. She reached up and closed her hand around his.
“That’s because now is all we have. I never know when the next time will be.”
He nodded wearily, wanting to give her more. And then, his expression changed as inspiration struck.
“As I recall, you have a very big birthday coming up,” he remembered. “Do you have any special plans for that day?”
Bella’s face brightened as he hoped it would. “No. I told Charlie I’d go home to visit next weekend, but my birthday is the Tuesday after. Not a big party night.”
“Would you like to spend it with me?”
She rolled her eyes at his formality. “I’d love to spend it with you. Why would you even ask?”
“Because you might have plans with your friends, for all I know. Or that ex-boyfriend of yours - Mike? Is that his name? He looked like he’d be happy to give you a good birthday spanking.”
Bella’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Oh, please. Don’t even go there. Mike and I are just friends. Trust me, there will be no spankings of any kind going on with him.” She shuddered slightly at the thought.
Edward caught her grimace and zeroed in for the kill. “So, do you have a problem with spankings in general, or just from Mike? Because you’re not going to get off that easy if you spend your birthday with me.”
Bella’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare even think about it.”
Edward’s grin turned mischievous. “Too late. I’ve already thought about it. Fantasized about it, many times. I am a full-service birthday specialist. Cake, candles, bad singing, toasts to the birthday girl, bare-ass spankings, and a pinch to grow an inch. If you say ‘yes’ to my date offer, then you’d better prepare yourself.”
They stared each other down for a moment. Bella was amazed at how shamefully hot she found the idea of Edward turning her over his knee. Edward was not at all amazed that Junior was twitching at the prospect.
Her right eyebrow arched infinitesimally before she gave him her answer.
“Yes.”
His grin was positively wicked now, and Bella’s heart began to race in anticipation. Sure enough, seconds later he’d managed to wrestle her face down over his lap, with the suggestion, “How about a sneak preview?”
She squealed and struggled against him to no avail, which only made her t-shirt ride up and expose her backside to his waiting hand. She felt his fingers close over her left cheek, giving it a squeeze.
“What a nice, round target you have,” he commented, smoothing one hand over the curve of her ass while the other pressed between her shoulder blades, pinning her torso to the bed covers over his thighs. She craned her neck to glare up at him, pushing half-heartedly against the bed with her arms.
“Resistance is futile,” he continued with a maddening smirk, stroking her bare buttocks in soothing circles. “Besides, I have the feeling you’re going to like it.”
She had no time for rebuttal. She heard the smack of his palm a split-second before the sting shot through her skin and traveled deep into her flesh. She manage to emit a single yelp of protest before she felt the broad side of his hand once more, reverberating straight to her genitals in astonishing tingles of desire.
“Stop!” she shrieked, not knowing why, because she didn’t necessarily want him to do any such thing. He ignored her anyway, chuckling maniacally as he gave her a series of lightning-quick slaps all over her cheeks until they smarted and burned and her pussy had grown inexplicably wet.
When Edward saw the pink flush of blood rising to the surface of her skin, he relented, smoothing his palm over her ass and bending down to nuzzle his face in her neck.
“We’re going to have so much fun on your birthday, Bella,” he whispered. “I can promise you that.”
“You are a twisted freak,” she mumbled through the tangle of her own hair as she turned her face to his.
“You love it,” he argued confidently, caressing her backside until he felt her arch into his hand. He slid his fingers slowly down the crevice between her buttocks, briefly exploring her back entrance before finding the slick opening beneath it. Gentle probing revealed the slippery evidence of her arousal, granting him easy entry. She moaned softly as his fingers delved deeper, seeking that special spot inside her that would make her come.
“I was right about you,” he whispered, half to himself, as he began to move his first two fingers in a languorous rhythm, pushing deeper inside. She whimpered softly, and he used his other hand to push the t-shirt up her back, exposing her ivory flesh so he could massage her back in time with the delving of his fingers.
“Right about what?” she gasped, grasping the comforter in her fingers and arching her back once more to meet his touch.
“That you love this. You were made for this.” He worked his fingers deeper before pulling out slightly and then plumbing her depths again. Her pussy made delicious smacking sounds that turned him on more than she could ever know, and he felt his dick harden beneath the covers, wanting in on the action.
“Made for what - finger fucking?” she retorted between heavy breaths.
He let out a soft chuckle. “Yes,” he agreed. “Finger fucking. All kinds of fucking. Sex,” he asserted, letting his free hand glide down her back to join the other. He slid one underneath her to stroke her clitoris, while the other plunged rhythmically inside her. “You love sex. That’s why you came to me in the first place.”
She scowled into the comforter, wanting to protest, but too caught up in the incredible sensations racking her abdomen. “I love sex with you,” she managed to say, turning her head sideways to get a peek at his beautiful body next to her. She reached back and pulled at the covers until his erection sprang free, his dick hard and pointing at her in proof of his own desires. She quickly grabbed it in her fist, yanking a bit roughly until he groaned. Then she worked her hand in time with his, stroking his cock from base to tip to match his fingers sliding in and out of her.
“And I love it with you,” he rasped, feeling himself lose control, sensing that the reckless beast within was about to take over once more. He began working her deep inside with short, rapid-fire strokes against the spongy flesh of her g-spot, and she cried out as her body tensed around him. She let go of his dick and clutched the comforter beneath her in both hands, her knuckles white as she panted and pushed back into his ruthless hand.
“Oh my God,” she exclaimed, moaning helplessly. How could something so rough and animalistic feel so good? His hand worked like a velvet jack-hammer inside her, a human vibrator sending her neurons firing in every direction until she was filled with electricity . . . snapping, crackling, building into an explosion of fireworks that burst all around him, her body quaking, muscles squeezing his hand with vice-like pressure in wave after wave of mind-blowing ecstasy.
He slowed the motion of his hand to a standstill as she came, amazed once more at the intensity of her orgasm. Her release was still the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. He wasn’t sure what turned him on more - the power he had over her pleasure, or perversely, the utter lack of control her surrender inevitably made him feel. All he knew was that her euphoria was his own. He smoothed her hair from her face as her breathing slowed and she turned to look up at him. Their eyes shared that strange knowing yet again - that language that transcended words. The realization of what they did to each other - what they were together - and how it changed forever who they were when they were apart.
Her gaze finally fell from his stunned face to the evidence of his unsated desire, bobbing and twitching on his belly as he slumped back against the headboard. Still drunk on endorphins, Bella slowly turned to face him. She stretched out on her side across his body, easing her hips onto the mattress next to him, reluctantly letting his magic hand exit her body. She raised her eyes to his as she leaned in and pressed her lips to the base of his erection. She watched his lungs fill with air at the sensation, then opened her mouth, letting her tongue tickle his rigid flesh. She languidly ran it up the ridge on the underside of his cock until she reached the sensitive tip, then swirled it slowly around the head as she grasped his shaft in one hand. His eyes rolled back slightly before closing, and a throaty moan escaped him. Bella’s mouth smiled in satisfaction before opening wide and taking in every inch of him she could manage.
She felt his hands in her hair immediately, reaching for the nape of her neck, his grip as gentle as the moans that vibrated his Adam’s apple. He did not guide her, but simply let his fingers rest there, lost in her tangled mane as she took the reins. He let her be the master of his pleasure once more, moving at her own pace, slowly stroking and exploring with her hands and mouth, sucking and licking and swallowing until he felt his hips begin to move in time with her, his fingers once again pressing into her scalp until she choked, her saliva running thick over his cock. He let go immediately, guilty over the intense pleasure that had given him.
But Bella only took a breath and did it once more, calming her gag reflex and swallowing him deep. His noises of appreciation spurred her to do it again, and again, until she gagged and was forced to release him.
She sat up a little and looked at him, firmly grasping his saliva-drenched cock and stroking it up and down while he shook his head in amazement.
“Baby, you don’t have to do that,” he told her.
“But you like it,” she pointed out. “If you like it, I like it.”
“And if you don’t, then I don’t,” he told her, placing his hands gently on either side of her face. “This is a two-way street. Remember that.”
She nodded, still working his wet erection in her hand. “I know something I’d like.”
“Name it.”
His face was open, ready. Waiting to fulfill her fantasy.
She raised herself up and swung one knee over his hips, straddling him. She rubbed her still-throbbing pussy against him, up and down, wetting them both, until his swollen head was lodged at her opening. And then, after she slowly lowered herself onto him, gasping as he stretched and filled her, she leaned in close and said one thing:
“I want you to come inside me.”
Edward’s groan was equal parts pleasure and exasperation, his eyes plaintive. “Anything but that.”
“No. Exactly that,” she insisted, pushing down with a small whimper until he was buried balls-deep inside her. “I can’t get pregnant right now. I’m clean, you’re clean - I trust you.”
“Don’t,” he shot back, his hands closing around her hips, ready to pull her off of him.
“I want to feel you come inside me like that first night, only better,” she continued, gripping his shoulders firmly and moving her groin slowly against his, letting him out a little before bearing down again. “I want you to explode inside me. I want to feel your cum, hot and wet, filling me up. I want every drop, deep inside.”
“Holy fuck,” he mumbled before her lips closed over his in a hungry kiss. He knew he should push her away, but how could he when it was the last thing he wanted to do? Instead he felt himself kissing her back, caressing her tongue with his own. His hands squeezed her hips, fingers splaying over her cheeks; his hips rose to meet hers, cock sinking gratefully into juicy flesh.
Bella murmured triumphantly into his mouth and pressed against him, hands traveling up his neck into his thick hair before releasing him. She grabbed at the t-shirt still covering her body and pulled it over her head, rising to her knees so her naked chest would assault Edward’s eyes the minute she was free. He reacted exactly as she knew he would, groaning and taking her breasts one by one in his mouth, his hands roaming up and down her body, no longer knowing where to rest.
Shivering from his touch, she lowered herself on him again and began building a rhythm, panting in time to the sensations of his cock burrowing deep within her. Each thrust still hurt and yet somehow didn’t, each welcome impalement forcing a whimper of pained pleasure from her throat.
Edward watched her dance atop him in a helpless ecstasy that bordered on agony. He knew he shouldn’t do this, but he craved it so much that stopping would be even worse. Unthinkable. Besides, the damage had already been done last night, his fevered mind reasoned. Might as well ride this out to its inexorable conclusion.
And ride they did, bodies coming together with escalating fervor, writhing and bucking until Bella grasped the headboard on either side of Edward’s shoulders to brace herself. His hands closed over her ass, holding her steady as their hips repeatedly rammed together. But the real intimacy was to be found further north, where shiny faces hovered mere inches apart, blurry-eyed and cherry-lipped, panting and moaning in unison, kissing and parting before kissing again.
Bella’s cries were soft and regular, keeping time with the increasing rhythm of their thrusts. But when they began to escalate in pitch and frequency, Edward knew with thrilling certainty that this was the moment he’d been waiting for. She was going to come. With his dick inside her. Fucking her. The elusive event he’d fantasized about since the night they met was at hand.
He let go of her hips so he could grasp her face instead, making her look at him. She knew what he was doing - knew how much this meant to him. To both of them. She locked her gaze with his and let go of the headboard, sinking her fingers into Edward’s hair instead as his cock drilled deep and sparked that delicious, slow burn within her.
He felt the pressure building inside him, the force gathering deep at the base of his groin. He tried to slow his rhythm, refusing to ruin this, to give in to the urge to come before she did. But her hips were relentless, fast and furious as she rode him, her body carrying her to the edge of that cliff, ready to take the plunge. He gritted his teeth and furrowed his brow, trying to concentrate on anything that would keep him from following her there. But it was no use. He was too far gone. He was already over the edge, free falling, hoping that he could pull her with him.
He bucked with a helpless groan of ecstasy at the first emission that rocketed from his dick, straight up into the encircling warmth of her womb. But when the second spurt erupted, he felt something else - the crushing grip of her muscles tightening around him in her own release.
His eyes popped open wide with grateful wonder as she shuddered around him, her insides clamping down mercilessly, her orgasm reverberating in glorious sync with his own.
She wasn’t nearly as surprised as he was. The minute she felt him let go - felt that molten liquid shoot deep inside, bathing her core in warmth - she knew she had arrived. This was it. This was the ecstasy she’d searched for all along; the connection that had eluded her until Edward. The thing she’d wanted that she could never name, never even imagine, when she had sought out a stranger to somehow complete her.
It made no sense to her, even now. She knew her self-esteem should not hinge upon her desirability to someone else; nor her ability to quench his desires in return. But here, in Edward Masen’s room, in Edward Masen’s bed, she had found something she never knew was missing, something she could never find alone. And it wasn’t between his legs - it was in his eyes.
And he recognized that truth in hers.
They found that nameless truth in one another, rutting atop twisted bed covers, bathed in slats of golden sunlight spilling through the window blinds. Bella Swan and Edward Masen had finally come together. In unison. In a whirlwind of delirium and ecstasy and blind trust that both had wished for, but never fully expected to happen.
But it did. It did happen. They had finally reached the pinnacle they had both yearned for, at exactly the same time, with matching intensity. Matching awe. Matching disbelief, and acceptance, and relief.
As they clutched each other in panting, pulsating oneness, they both wondered the same thing.
Where would they go from here?
She’d think about that tomorrow. She was Scarlet O’Hara now, living in the moment, enjoying the here and now. She memorized the way the beams of light played over Edward’s features, augmenting the long, feathered shadows his eyelashes cast over his cheeks. She wished she could capture the image on her camera phone, but it was hanging in her backpack near the kitchen door. Better yet, she imagined how beautiful a pencil or charcoal rendering of him would be, though she was sure her own meager talents could never do him justice.
So she drank in the softly snoring work of art next to her on the pillow, absorbing each nuance, wondering if she would ever be saturated, ever have enough.
She already knew the answer. She could never get enough of him. She knew it the minute he pulled out of her last night and spilled his seed all over her, apologizing for the mess afterward, not understanding how much she loved it. How could he still think she wanted only his perfection? How was it that he didn’t realize she loved every self-imagined flaw about him?
But no, he insisted they shower afterward. Clean up the mess; wash off every drop of sperm and sweat and saliva, every grain of sand and sea salt that evidenced the gritty beauty of their day together. They brushed away their garlic breath and gave each other fresh kisses before falling into a soap-scented sleep. She wondered what happened to the guy who had insisted on kissing her despite their morning breath just two short weeks ago. She pressed her face into his shoulder until she could glean his scent through that of the dissipating shower gel, and there she found her happiness.
She luxuriated in it now. The drowsy remnants of slumber still held her captive in Edward’s arms. She could find no will to move, unless it was to draw closer to him. They had both awakened often during the night, smiling at the sight of one another, relishing the feel of each other’s warmth before falling into blissful unconsciousness again.
Bella thought she might drift off again were it not for the enticing picture he painted in the morning light. She didn’t want to close her eyes again and miss a moment of his breathing. She could feel each puff of air lightly on her face, each rise of his chest against her arm. This was heaven, pure and simple. She could think of nothing better than this, except for the way he made love to her. There were no words to describe the place he took her - the person he made her. She was different with him in the way she’d always dreamed of: confident, open, free.
She thought maybe she did the same for him. She hoped so, anyway.
He had not moved for ten minutes, at least. He seemed to be in a deep sleep despite the sun’s increasingly bold attempts at waking him. Bella finally tore her eyes from his face and began to look around the room, its details slowly making themselves known in the muted dawn. Aside from the sturdy, well-oiled furniture, there were paintings adorning the walls and photographs atop the dresser. The artwork resembled the tiny “bookmark” that Edward had yet to reclaim from her dorm room, and she assumed the water-color renderings of the Sound and surrounding landscapes were the work of his late mother. She could discern Elizabeth’s likeness in the photographs, too, along with the two Edwards in her life. Bella was itching to go take a closer look at those snippets of Edward’s past.
Gingerly, ever-so-carefully, she inched away from him under the covers. He grumbled a little and reached out in his sleep, grabbing the comforter and pulling it closer when she eluded his grasp. Her heart swelled at the gesture. She was amazed at the ache she felt as she slid out of the warm spot into the cool sheets at the edge of the bed. The hardwood floor was cold under her bare feet when they touched down.
She looked around for something to wear, but her clothes were still strewn with Edward’s all over the bedroom floor. She noticed his t-shirt had landed on the only chair in the room, so she grabbed it, shaking it out slightly before pulling it over her head. Yesterday’s beachy, musky scent still clung to it, and she wrapped her arms around her middle, pulling the soft cotton close to her body.
She padded quietly around the room, studying the landscape paintings first. Sure enough, each sported the familiar “E. Masen” signature in the lower right-hand corner. His mother had quite a talent, capturing her subject matter in dreamy washes of color with a few spare details added later in dry brush for definition. Bella had always had trouble using water color paints, and she admired the technique she saw before her.
She ended her jaunt at the dresser, gazing at Edward’s photos one by one. There were several of him as a child with his parents. She grinned in recognition at the tow-headed boy with bright blue eyes and a mischievous smirk reminiscent of the one he often gave her now.
And then there were the adolescent years, the photos portraying a gangly teen with over-large features and haunted eyes - the eyes of someone who had lost too much, too soon. But more recent pictures showed a younger version of the man she knew now: serious but confident, seated purposefully at an enormous upright piano in the now-empty corner of the living room downstairs.
Alice was in some of the pictures, ebullient and spiky-haired, the free-wheeling counterpoint to her cousin’s natural containment. Edward’s grin was broader when he stood next to her, as if the gravity of her own huge smile had pulled his wider.
But the photos that fascinated Bella the most were the ones of the two of them with their grandmother.
Bella wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the tiny woman anchoring dainty Alice and lanky Edward in every picture. Emily Cullen couldn’t have been much more than five feet tall, yet she still appeared to be the pillar of strength between her giddy granddaughter and melancholic grandson. Stalwart and robust, she was a compact, golden-haired powerhouse with a sturdy frame and no-nonsense expression. She had the sympathetic, yet slightly steely look of someone who had weathered many a storm. There was fierce pride in her face as she clutched her grandchildren to her. Emily was clearly the glue that held the remnants of her family together in a tight, protective bond.
Bella suddenly had a much better grasp of how overwhelming it must have been when that glue began to dissolve.
She turned to look at Edward once more; to study his handsome features furrowed in sleep. She let out a gasp of surprise when she found him propped up on a pillow against the headboard, watching her.
“You’re awake,” she blurted, her cheeks coloring like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t.
“The bed was cold,” he said, his honey tone masking the mild accusation.
“I’m sorry,” she said, not sure why she was apologizing. Her feet began carrying her back to his side without any conscious decision on her part. She crawled atop the covers and into his waiting arms.
“I hope you don’t mind my snooping,” she said, still feeling a bit like a naughty child.
“Why would I mind?” he said, putting her worries to rest. He laid a gentle hand on her hair. “I brought you here because I wanted to show you everything.”
She gave him a relieved smile. “I like looking at pictures of you and your family. Your grandmother looks like an amazing woman. You can see the strength and determination in her face. And the love. It’s easy to see how much she loves you.”
Bella looked into Edward’s sleepy gaze and wondered if he could see the same thing in her own eyes.
He smiled, and his eyes crinkled at her in that way that made her think he saw everything.
“The feeling’s mutual,” he told her, and she knew she was right.
He combed his fingers languidly through her hair, then frowned a little. “Did you sleep okay?”
“I slept great,” she said, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “I think you’ve ruined me for my dorm bed forever.”
“I like having you in my bed.” He wanted to add a promise to make sure she was in it more often, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Not until he figured out a way to make it come true.
“Did you have fun yesterday?” he continued, not sure why he was asking, or why he felt uncertain about the answer. He hadn’t felt the need for anyone’s approval this much in a long time.
“Are you kidding? Yesterday was amazing. So was last night.” She felt her face grow warm at the memories.
His answering smile was just as warm and full of intimate secrets. “It was, wasn’t it? Perfect,” he whispered. His arm tightened around her, hand squeezing her shoulder. “But we can’t do that again.”
Her eyes widened in panic. “Do what?” She was terrified he would tell her she’d just experienced their first, and last, date off the Renaissance Escorts clock.
“Have unprotected sex,” he clarified. “There are too many risks.” He didn’t want to name them all. Surely he didn’t have to.
Bella sighed in relief. “I know. I get it. But I promise you, I’m not going to get pregnant. I’ll text you when my period starts tomorrow, if you want.”
“It’s not just that,” he reminded her. “I get tested all the time, and I’m always careful - except when I’m with you. You make me careless. You make me forget everything. Everything except this. Here. Now.”
His eyes were wistful, fingers longing as they combed through in the silky hair above her ear. She reached up and closed her hand around his.
“That’s because now is all we have. I never know when the next time will be.”
He nodded wearily, wanting to give her more. And then, his expression changed as inspiration struck.
“As I recall, you have a very big birthday coming up,” he remembered. “Do you have any special plans for that day?”
Bella’s face brightened as he hoped it would. “No. I told Charlie I’d go home to visit next weekend, but my birthday is the Tuesday after. Not a big party night.”
“Would you like to spend it with me?”
She rolled her eyes at his formality. “I’d love to spend it with you. Why would you even ask?”
“Because you might have plans with your friends, for all I know. Or that ex-boyfriend of yours - Mike? Is that his name? He looked like he’d be happy to give you a good birthday spanking.”
Bella’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Oh, please. Don’t even go there. Mike and I are just friends. Trust me, there will be no spankings of any kind going on with him.” She shuddered slightly at the thought.
Edward caught her grimace and zeroed in for the kill. “So, do you have a problem with spankings in general, or just from Mike? Because you’re not going to get off that easy if you spend your birthday with me.”
Bella’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare even think about it.”
Edward’s grin turned mischievous. “Too late. I’ve already thought about it. Fantasized about it, many times. I am a full-service birthday specialist. Cake, candles, bad singing, toasts to the birthday girl, bare-ass spankings, and a pinch to grow an inch. If you say ‘yes’ to my date offer, then you’d better prepare yourself.”
They stared each other down for a moment. Bella was amazed at how shamefully hot she found the idea of Edward turning her over his knee. Edward was not at all amazed that Junior was twitching at the prospect.
Her right eyebrow arched infinitesimally before she gave him her answer.
“Yes.”
His grin was positively wicked now, and Bella’s heart began to race in anticipation. Sure enough, seconds later he’d managed to wrestle her face down over his lap, with the suggestion, “How about a sneak preview?”
She squealed and struggled against him to no avail, which only made her t-shirt ride up and expose her backside to his waiting hand. She felt his fingers close over her left cheek, giving it a squeeze.
“What a nice, round target you have,” he commented, smoothing one hand over the curve of her ass while the other pressed between her shoulder blades, pinning her torso to the bed covers over his thighs. She craned her neck to glare up at him, pushing half-heartedly against the bed with her arms.
“Resistance is futile,” he continued with a maddening smirk, stroking her bare buttocks in soothing circles. “Besides, I have the feeling you’re going to like it.”
She had no time for rebuttal. She heard the smack of his palm a split-second before the sting shot through her skin and traveled deep into her flesh. She manage to emit a single yelp of protest before she felt the broad side of his hand once more, reverberating straight to her genitals in astonishing tingles of desire.
“Stop!” she shrieked, not knowing why, because she didn’t necessarily want him to do any such thing. He ignored her anyway, chuckling maniacally as he gave her a series of lightning-quick slaps all over her cheeks until they smarted and burned and her pussy had grown inexplicably wet.
When Edward saw the pink flush of blood rising to the surface of her skin, he relented, smoothing his palm over her ass and bending down to nuzzle his face in her neck.
“We’re going to have so much fun on your birthday, Bella,” he whispered. “I can promise you that.”
“You are a twisted freak,” she mumbled through the tangle of her own hair as she turned her face to his.
“You love it,” he argued confidently, caressing her backside until he felt her arch into his hand. He slid his fingers slowly down the crevice between her buttocks, briefly exploring her back entrance before finding the slick opening beneath it. Gentle probing revealed the slippery evidence of her arousal, granting him easy entry. She moaned softly as his fingers delved deeper, seeking that special spot inside her that would make her come.
“I was right about you,” he whispered, half to himself, as he began to move his first two fingers in a languorous rhythm, pushing deeper inside. She whimpered softly, and he used his other hand to push the t-shirt up her back, exposing her ivory flesh so he could massage her back in time with the delving of his fingers.
“Right about what?” she gasped, grasping the comforter in her fingers and arching her back once more to meet his touch.
“That you love this. You were made for this.” He worked his fingers deeper before pulling out slightly and then plumbing her depths again. Her pussy made delicious smacking sounds that turned him on more than she could ever know, and he felt his dick harden beneath the covers, wanting in on the action.
“Made for what - finger fucking?” she retorted between heavy breaths.
He let out a soft chuckle. “Yes,” he agreed. “Finger fucking. All kinds of fucking. Sex,” he asserted, letting his free hand glide down her back to join the other. He slid one underneath her to stroke her clitoris, while the other plunged rhythmically inside her. “You love sex. That’s why you came to me in the first place.”
She scowled into the comforter, wanting to protest, but too caught up in the incredible sensations racking her abdomen. “I love sex with you,” she managed to say, turning her head sideways to get a peek at his beautiful body next to her. She reached back and pulled at the covers until his erection sprang free, his dick hard and pointing at her in proof of his own desires. She quickly grabbed it in her fist, yanking a bit roughly until he groaned. Then she worked her hand in time with his, stroking his cock from base to tip to match his fingers sliding in and out of her.
“And I love it with you,” he rasped, feeling himself lose control, sensing that the reckless beast within was about to take over once more. He began working her deep inside with short, rapid-fire strokes against the spongy flesh of her g-spot, and she cried out as her body tensed around him. She let go of his dick and clutched the comforter beneath her in both hands, her knuckles white as she panted and pushed back into his ruthless hand.
“Oh my God,” she exclaimed, moaning helplessly. How could something so rough and animalistic feel so good? His hand worked like a velvet jack-hammer inside her, a human vibrator sending her neurons firing in every direction until she was filled with electricity . . . snapping, crackling, building into an explosion of fireworks that burst all around him, her body quaking, muscles squeezing his hand with vice-like pressure in wave after wave of mind-blowing ecstasy.
He slowed the motion of his hand to a standstill as she came, amazed once more at the intensity of her orgasm. Her release was still the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. He wasn’t sure what turned him on more - the power he had over her pleasure, or perversely, the utter lack of control her surrender inevitably made him feel. All he knew was that her euphoria was his own. He smoothed her hair from her face as her breathing slowed and she turned to look up at him. Their eyes shared that strange knowing yet again - that language that transcended words. The realization of what they did to each other - what they were together - and how it changed forever who they were when they were apart.
Her gaze finally fell from his stunned face to the evidence of his unsated desire, bobbing and twitching on his belly as he slumped back against the headboard. Still drunk on endorphins, Bella slowly turned to face him. She stretched out on her side across his body, easing her hips onto the mattress next to him, reluctantly letting his magic hand exit her body. She raised her eyes to his as she leaned in and pressed her lips to the base of his erection. She watched his lungs fill with air at the sensation, then opened her mouth, letting her tongue tickle his rigid flesh. She languidly ran it up the ridge on the underside of his cock until she reached the sensitive tip, then swirled it slowly around the head as she grasped his shaft in one hand. His eyes rolled back slightly before closing, and a throaty moan escaped him. Bella’s mouth smiled in satisfaction before opening wide and taking in every inch of him she could manage.
She felt his hands in her hair immediately, reaching for the nape of her neck, his grip as gentle as the moans that vibrated his Adam’s apple. He did not guide her, but simply let his fingers rest there, lost in her tangled mane as she took the reins. He let her be the master of his pleasure once more, moving at her own pace, slowly stroking and exploring with her hands and mouth, sucking and licking and swallowing until he felt his hips begin to move in time with her, his fingers once again pressing into her scalp until she choked, her saliva running thick over his cock. He let go immediately, guilty over the intense pleasure that had given him.
But Bella only took a breath and did it once more, calming her gag reflex and swallowing him deep. His noises of appreciation spurred her to do it again, and again, until she gagged and was forced to release him.
She sat up a little and looked at him, firmly grasping his saliva-drenched cock and stroking it up and down while he shook his head in amazement.
“Baby, you don’t have to do that,” he told her.
“But you like it,” she pointed out. “If you like it, I like it.”
“And if you don’t, then I don’t,” he told her, placing his hands gently on either side of her face. “This is a two-way street. Remember that.”
She nodded, still working his wet erection in her hand. “I know something I’d like.”
“Name it.”
His face was open, ready. Waiting to fulfill her fantasy.
She raised herself up and swung one knee over his hips, straddling him. She rubbed her still-throbbing pussy against him, up and down, wetting them both, until his swollen head was lodged at her opening. And then, after she slowly lowered herself onto him, gasping as he stretched and filled her, she leaned in close and said one thing:
“I want you to come inside me.”
Edward’s groan was equal parts pleasure and exasperation, his eyes plaintive. “Anything but that.”
“No. Exactly that,” she insisted, pushing down with a small whimper until he was buried balls-deep inside her. “I can’t get pregnant right now. I’m clean, you’re clean - I trust you.”
“Don’t,” he shot back, his hands closing around her hips, ready to pull her off of him.
“I want to feel you come inside me like that first night, only better,” she continued, gripping his shoulders firmly and moving her groin slowly against his, letting him out a little before bearing down again. “I want you to explode inside me. I want to feel your cum, hot and wet, filling me up. I want every drop, deep inside.”
“Holy fuck,” he mumbled before her lips closed over his in a hungry kiss. He knew he should push her away, but how could he when it was the last thing he wanted to do? Instead he felt himself kissing her back, caressing her tongue with his own. His hands squeezed her hips, fingers splaying over her cheeks; his hips rose to meet hers, cock sinking gratefully into juicy flesh.
Bella murmured triumphantly into his mouth and pressed against him, hands traveling up his neck into his thick hair before releasing him. She grabbed at the t-shirt still covering her body and pulled it over her head, rising to her knees so her naked chest would assault Edward’s eyes the minute she was free. He reacted exactly as she knew he would, groaning and taking her breasts one by one in his mouth, his hands roaming up and down her body, no longer knowing where to rest.
Shivering from his touch, she lowered herself on him again and began building a rhythm, panting in time to the sensations of his cock burrowing deep within her. Each thrust still hurt and yet somehow didn’t, each welcome impalement forcing a whimper of pained pleasure from her throat.
Edward watched her dance atop him in a helpless ecstasy that bordered on agony. He knew he shouldn’t do this, but he craved it so much that stopping would be even worse. Unthinkable. Besides, the damage had already been done last night, his fevered mind reasoned. Might as well ride this out to its inexorable conclusion.
And ride they did, bodies coming together with escalating fervor, writhing and bucking until Bella grasped the headboard on either side of Edward’s shoulders to brace herself. His hands closed over her ass, holding her steady as their hips repeatedly rammed together. But the real intimacy was to be found further north, where shiny faces hovered mere inches apart, blurry-eyed and cherry-lipped, panting and moaning in unison, kissing and parting before kissing again.
Bella’s cries were soft and regular, keeping time with the increasing rhythm of their thrusts. But when they began to escalate in pitch and frequency, Edward knew with thrilling certainty that this was the moment he’d been waiting for. She was going to come. With his dick inside her. Fucking her. The elusive event he’d fantasized about since the night they met was at hand.
He let go of her hips so he could grasp her face instead, making her look at him. She knew what he was doing - knew how much this meant to him. To both of them. She locked her gaze with his and let go of the headboard, sinking her fingers into Edward’s hair instead as his cock drilled deep and sparked that delicious, slow burn within her.
He felt the pressure building inside him, the force gathering deep at the base of his groin. He tried to slow his rhythm, refusing to ruin this, to give in to the urge to come before she did. But her hips were relentless, fast and furious as she rode him, her body carrying her to the edge of that cliff, ready to take the plunge. He gritted his teeth and furrowed his brow, trying to concentrate on anything that would keep him from following her there. But it was no use. He was too far gone. He was already over the edge, free falling, hoping that he could pull her with him.
He bucked with a helpless groan of ecstasy at the first emission that rocketed from his dick, straight up into the encircling warmth of her womb. But when the second spurt erupted, he felt something else - the crushing grip of her muscles tightening around him in her own release.
His eyes popped open wide with grateful wonder as she shuddered around him, her insides clamping down mercilessly, her orgasm reverberating in glorious sync with his own.
She wasn’t nearly as surprised as he was. The minute she felt him let go - felt that molten liquid shoot deep inside, bathing her core in warmth - she knew she had arrived. This was it. This was the ecstasy she’d searched for all along; the connection that had eluded her until Edward. The thing she’d wanted that she could never name, never even imagine, when she had sought out a stranger to somehow complete her.
It made no sense to her, even now. She knew her self-esteem should not hinge upon her desirability to someone else; nor her ability to quench his desires in return. But here, in Edward Masen’s room, in Edward Masen’s bed, she had found something she never knew was missing, something she could never find alone. And it wasn’t between his legs - it was in his eyes.
And he recognized that truth in hers.
They found that nameless truth in one another, rutting atop twisted bed covers, bathed in slats of golden sunlight spilling through the window blinds. Bella Swan and Edward Masen had finally come together. In unison. In a whirlwind of delirium and ecstasy and blind trust that both had wished for, but never fully expected to happen.
But it did. It did happen. They had finally reached the pinnacle they had both yearned for, at exactly the same time, with matching intensity. Matching awe. Matching disbelief, and acceptance, and relief.
As they clutched each other in panting, pulsating oneness, they both wondered the same thing.
Where would they go from here?
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